Saturday, January 23, 2010
Don't Knock the Ru$$ell
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
“If you want to shine, you have to grind.” – my pops
The evolution of the hip-hop consciousness over the last three (yep, three) decades has been phenomenal. Listen to the President, Mr. Carter kick that realness. It’s time to take your hu$tle to the next-level (whatever your hu$tle is…)
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Jay-Z “We Run this Town (Interview)”
Don’t do me…DO YOU ALREADY!!!
I remember when mixtapes were actually on tapes…not MP3s (duh!). I remember when having a DAT was more profitable than packing a gat.
Those back alley relationships that were forged have been foundational for what has become today’s independent-minded movement in entertainment. The mixtape paved the way for the grinders that are getting it now through social media. The mixtape was an early tool of “social media” because it was a platform where an artist like 50 Cent proved you could transform your street hu$tle into a force in the marketplace.
This was an era in which enterprising individuals learned the importance of “exclusives” and being the breaking ground for some of the most influential personalities and movements like Bad Boy, the Ruff Ryders, Roc-A-Fella and G-Unit, among others.
Learning how to sequence red-hot songs alongside freestyle “exclusives” created a synergy in the marketplace that required artists to constantly step their spit game up. Mixtapes gave rise to talents like Jay-Z, Tupac, Emimem, Biggie Smalls and Nas.
If you’re a small business owner (SBO) or entrepreneur, you could learn quite a bit from the mixtape hu$tle. Apply those tactics to your social media marketing mix. Having come from this streetwise heritage of experiential marketing, I’ve worked with many of the most renown mixtape, mobile, radio and touring deejays as a publicist, branding consultant, content developer and project manager on campaigns for lifestyle brands slinging everything from jeans, mobile phones and CDs to beverages, credit cards and video games.
Take a few worthwhile moments to peep game (you’re welcome).
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing DJ S & S “History of Mixtapes”
Having mastered this hu$tle I'm glad to see DJ S & S spit that realness. Some of you youngin' have to be schooled on how peops had to make hand-to-hand moves before myspace, twitter and facebook. All this virtual sniping is what it is (love is love), but never, ever, ever, ever disrespect and forget the foundation of the "5th element" of hip-hop: PROMOTIONS.
Shout out to all the street reppers that build buzz from the ground up. Street Teams (XS Marketing, PartyZone, The Insomniacs, etc.), Mixtape DJs (DJ Craig G, Doo Wop, Ron G, Kid Capri, Clue, Kurupt, Sickamore, Vlad, Whoo-Kid) & Graphic Designers (Nojo, Nu-Gen, 5ive5ive, etc.) – HIP-HOP STAND UP!!!
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing DJ S & S “Keeping It 100: The Blog”
“Get your own sh*t, why you ridin’ mines?” – Lil Kim
Join us for "Handle Your Business" Wednesdays @ 8 p.m. on The BOOTY Call Show presented by The S-Dot Files with S-Dot & Friends exclusively by The Dot Team.
Until next time…DON’T KNOCK THE RU$$ELL
Friday, January 22, 2010
Take A Look Around
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
To the People of Haiti: merci pour tout ce que tu fais pour le people.
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Wycelf’s Press Conference on Haiti
’
In the last few days there have been some terrible rumors and accusations in the news about Yele and it founder, Wyclef Jean. If one delves into the background of many of those who have put forth these unfounded claims you’ll discover that they’re either linked to other “non-profit” organizations that are jealous of Yele’s very effective social media campaign via twitter.
The UN relief efforts in Haiti are estimated to offer as many as 22,000 jobs for this economically depressed and naturally devastated island nation. The Red Cross has collect $25 million in its text contribution efforts. Laysha Ward, Community Relations President for Target says the brand has been using its Facebook and Twitter social media pages to “amass a whole new set of donations that otherwise would not be able to be contributed in such a rapid manner.”
Out of this world, self-proclaimed, “King of All Media” Howard Stern maybe returning to the earth bound airwaves of “regular” radio. His five-year $500 million contract with Sirius is up this year. Many speculate that this is Stern’s ploy to get chief executive Mel Karzmazin to ante up with some more dough. He is up-front in his comment, “I can’t ever imagine the day where I’d work for Clear Channel.” This likely stems from the station owner dropping him in six markets for “indecency” prior to his fleeing to the more lucrative satellite airwaves for Sirius.
Mr. Obama administered tough talk to banks that are using depositor cash to speculate on the Market. “So, if these folks want a fight. It’s a fight I’m ready to have. And my resolve is only strengthened when I see a return to old practices at some of the very firms fighting reform.” What he calls “common sense reforms” would increase the level of available cash that must be on hand. The Market felt the sting of his words with Wells Fargo, JP Morgan Chase, Goldman Sachs and Citigroup each having price slippages.
The president supports the dismantling of regulation loopholes that currently allow banks to lend and invest under one financial umbrella. Big Business will also likely line up behind the GOP now the Supreme Court has given a favorable vote on campaign contributions from corporations.
To the People of Haiti: merci pour tout ce que tu fais pour le people.
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Wycelf’s Press Conference on Haiti
’
In the last few days there have been some terrible rumors and accusations in the news about Yele and it founder, Wyclef Jean. If one delves into the background of many of those who have put forth these unfounded claims you’ll discover that they’re either linked to other “non-profit” organizations that are jealous of Yele’s very effective social media campaign via twitter.
The UN relief efforts in Haiti are estimated to offer as many as 22,000 jobs for this economically depressed and naturally devastated island nation. The Red Cross has collect $25 million in its text contribution efforts. Laysha Ward, Community Relations President for Target says the brand has been using its Facebook and Twitter social media pages to “amass a whole new set of donations that otherwise would not be able to be contributed in such a rapid manner.”
Out of this world, self-proclaimed, “King of All Media” Howard Stern maybe returning to the earth bound airwaves of “regular” radio. His five-year $500 million contract with Sirius is up this year. Many speculate that this is Stern’s ploy to get chief executive Mel Karzmazin to ante up with some more dough. He is up-front in his comment, “I can’t ever imagine the day where I’d work for Clear Channel.” This likely stems from the station owner dropping him in six markets for “indecency” prior to his fleeing to the more lucrative satellite airwaves for Sirius.
Mr. Obama administered tough talk to banks that are using depositor cash to speculate on the Market. “So, if these folks want a fight. It’s a fight I’m ready to have. And my resolve is only strengthened when I see a return to old practices at some of the very firms fighting reform.” What he calls “common sense reforms” would increase the level of available cash that must be on hand. The Market felt the sting of his words with Wells Fargo, JP Morgan Chase, Goldman Sachs and Citigroup each having price slippages.
The president supports the dismantling of regulation loopholes that currently allow banks to lend and invest under one financial umbrella. Big Business will also likely line up behind the GOP now the Supreme Court has given a favorable vote on campaign contributions from corporations.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
On To The Next One...
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Hot 97’s Angie Martinez is a very personable, charismatic radio host that knows how to win over her guests and listeners with her infectious laughter and vibrant enthusiasm for all things hip-hop. She brings a refreshing breath to the airwaves with her The Angie Martinez Show that airs daily on the Emmis Communications station in New York.
Here’s a transcript of his exchange with Angie on Wednesday, January 13, 2010.
The Carters came out to support Angie Martinez at her Sunday, January 10th birthday bash
Jay-Z on matters of faith to Angie Martinez on Hot 97: I really think it’s really silly. You know…umm…I of course believe in God. But I believe in one God. You know…if people must know my religious beliefs, I believe in one God. You know…I don’t believe in religions. I don’t believe in Christians or Muslims, I think all that separates people. I think it’s one God, I thinks its all the same God, and I don’t believe in hell. But as far as God, of course I believe in God. Am I a part of a type of sect or cult? That sounds stupid to me, it’s like ignorant to even say. And um…I guess that will be the last time that I address that.
Jay-Z on being a member of the “unseen hand” of power on Hot 97: Yeah right here there’s the Mob Squad (Young Jeezy & Trey Songz who along with him form the “Three Amigos”), Roc Nation is the gang. But as far as…I can’t even get into a golf club in Palm Springs, I’m from Marcy Projects. Imagine, I mean just think about that. (Q: they wouldn’t let you in club you think?) Of course not. How? I mean, people that control the world and you know…
Jay-Z on the belief that there is an “unseen hand” of power on Hot 97: I think there’s friends. I think there’s cliques of friends who control things. I don’t know if it’s a devil worshipping sect. I think that’s a little Tom Hanks. But, I believe there’s a cliques of people that control the world. Like if, you know (Young) Jeezy’s my man, y’all got Atlanta, I go down to Atlanta I got that thing. You know and…if he come to Brooklyn, I got that thing. I go to Virginia…that’s just natural process. I’m sure Obama has his people that you know, everything is good (A: that he rocks with). Yeah. But as far as how far people are taking it… I guess I’m an entertainer.
The March 10th tour date for the Nassau Coliseum has already soldout. Tickets for the March 2nd Madison Square Garden show go on sale Friday, January 15th. Jay-Z (the other S-Dot) has invested in the Fela show which inspired him when he saw the show a couple of times. “I haven’t met one person that went only one time.” Fela is the dearly departed, beloved pioneering Afro-Beat legend who is world renown for his creative genius.
Jay-Z, the other half of the $122 million earning Carter Administration (along with wife-piece BeyoncĂ©) according to Forbes' 2009 list laments, “People make up their own things and they just run with it.” The “comic” in him finds people’s fascination with his personal beliefs hilarious. Jeezy jokingly deadpans and admits that he’s “in” the “money gang” with Jay-Z.
Having previously experienced some collaboration beef with R. Kelly on the Best of Both Worlds: Volumes I & II, Hov is looking to take the Mob Squad project with Jeezy & Trey to the next level of “positivity” with their tour and forthcoming studio efforts. He points out his tour successes with Mary J. Blige, DMX & the Ruff Ryders, Method Man & Red Man, 50 Cent & G-Unit as his willingness and ability to produce a commercially viable vehicle.
The 25-year old, Grammy nominated Trey Songz is on his 3rd album, Young Jeezy is 5 years into the legal paper chasing “game” and on his 4th album under the House that Russell Built, Def Jam imprint. Each of them is a fan of not just the music, but of the movements that it has enabled them to individually create opening up the doors for their collective efforts on the Blueprint 3 tour. Each will play their positions on the tour: Jeezy brings the streets; Trey brings the youth energy and the ladies and Hov as the elder statesman solidifies the legendary status bringing that megastar wattage to the building.
( ( ( Just Thinking Out loud ) ) )
Where were the prophetic utterances prior to Tuesday’s earthquake in Haiti? Nowhere to be found. Of course they’ll come of the woodwork afterwards and try to cut & paste their theological ramblings to this tragedy now, but that’s just another sad commentary on those who have placed themselves in position of being the “faith mob” of religion. None of us is above or beyond reproach. Each of us will have to answer for our life pursuits. Let’s stop all this nonsense speculating about other people’s spiritual journey, especially since most of us have specks in our own eyes.
NOTE TO LAME CITIZEN JOURNALISTS (I mean "bloggers"): Youtube is a site that ANYONE can post practically ANYTHING to. That content is only vetted for pornographic content, etc. You can basically say whatever you want about anyone and someone with too much time on their hands and no life will believe it. WHY? Because they have no life. DO YOU ALREADY!!!
If this man is going to hell or any place else, that will be determined by the Most High, not you. You can try to hide inside your religious doctrines like the very Pharisees that Christ railed against (interesting isn't it...) or you can follow the example of Christ and come out and walk among the everyday people speaking in a common language to point them to the Most High. WAKE UP and stop being "so-and-so said" puppets for your pastors, imans, rabbis and other spiritual leaders. Your faith is YOUR responsibility. Seek God for yourself first and foremost, stop being misled by ignorance and bound in prejudice because you refuse to wake up. You are plugged into the Faithtrix that has rocked you asleep. WAKE UP...THE TRUTH RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!!! Stop waiting for God, because God is waiting for you to WAKE UP!!!
Hot 97’s Angie Martinez is a very personable, charismatic radio host that knows how to win over her guests and listeners with her infectious laughter and vibrant enthusiasm for all things hip-hop. She brings a refreshing breath to the airwaves with her The Angie Martinez Show that airs daily on the Emmis Communications station in New York.
Here’s a transcript of his exchange with Angie on Wednesday, January 13, 2010.
The Carters came out to support Angie Martinez at her Sunday, January 10th birthday bash
Jay-Z on matters of faith to Angie Martinez on Hot 97: I really think it’s really silly. You know…umm…I of course believe in God. But I believe in one God. You know…if people must know my religious beliefs, I believe in one God. You know…I don’t believe in religions. I don’t believe in Christians or Muslims, I think all that separates people. I think it’s one God, I thinks its all the same God, and I don’t believe in hell. But as far as God, of course I believe in God. Am I a part of a type of sect or cult? That sounds stupid to me, it’s like ignorant to even say. And um…I guess that will be the last time that I address that.
Jay-Z on being a member of the “unseen hand” of power on Hot 97: Yeah right here there’s the Mob Squad (Young Jeezy & Trey Songz who along with him form the “Three Amigos”), Roc Nation is the gang. But as far as…I can’t even get into a golf club in Palm Springs, I’m from Marcy Projects. Imagine, I mean just think about that. (Q: they wouldn’t let you in club you think?) Of course not. How? I mean, people that control the world and you know…
Jay-Z on the belief that there is an “unseen hand” of power on Hot 97: I think there’s friends. I think there’s cliques of friends who control things. I don’t know if it’s a devil worshipping sect. I think that’s a little Tom Hanks. But, I believe there’s a cliques of people that control the world. Like if, you know (Young) Jeezy’s my man, y’all got Atlanta, I go down to Atlanta I got that thing. You know and…if he come to Brooklyn, I got that thing. I go to Virginia…that’s just natural process. I’m sure Obama has his people that you know, everything is good (A: that he rocks with). Yeah. But as far as how far people are taking it… I guess I’m an entertainer.
The March 10th tour date for the Nassau Coliseum has already soldout. Tickets for the March 2nd Madison Square Garden show go on sale Friday, January 15th. Jay-Z (the other S-Dot) has invested in the Fela show which inspired him when he saw the show a couple of times. “I haven’t met one person that went only one time.” Fela is the dearly departed, beloved pioneering Afro-Beat legend who is world renown for his creative genius.
Jay-Z, the other half of the $122 million earning Carter Administration (along with wife-piece BeyoncĂ©) according to Forbes' 2009 list laments, “People make up their own things and they just run with it.” The “comic” in him finds people’s fascination with his personal beliefs hilarious. Jeezy jokingly deadpans and admits that he’s “in” the “money gang” with Jay-Z.
Having previously experienced some collaboration beef with R. Kelly on the Best of Both Worlds: Volumes I & II, Hov is looking to take the Mob Squad project with Jeezy & Trey to the next level of “positivity” with their tour and forthcoming studio efforts. He points out his tour successes with Mary J. Blige, DMX & the Ruff Ryders, Method Man & Red Man, 50 Cent & G-Unit as his willingness and ability to produce a commercially viable vehicle.
The 25-year old, Grammy nominated Trey Songz is on his 3rd album, Young Jeezy is 5 years into the legal paper chasing “game” and on his 4th album under the House that Russell Built, Def Jam imprint. Each of them is a fan of not just the music, but of the movements that it has enabled them to individually create opening up the doors for their collective efforts on the Blueprint 3 tour. Each will play their positions on the tour: Jeezy brings the streets; Trey brings the youth energy and the ladies and Hov as the elder statesman solidifies the legendary status bringing that megastar wattage to the building.
( ( ( Just Thinking Out loud ) ) )
Where were the prophetic utterances prior to Tuesday’s earthquake in Haiti? Nowhere to be found. Of course they’ll come of the woodwork afterwards and try to cut & paste their theological ramblings to this tragedy now, but that’s just another sad commentary on those who have placed themselves in position of being the “faith mob” of religion. None of us is above or beyond reproach. Each of us will have to answer for our life pursuits. Let’s stop all this nonsense speculating about other people’s spiritual journey, especially since most of us have specks in our own eyes.
NOTE TO LAME CITIZEN JOURNALISTS (I mean "bloggers"): Youtube is a site that ANYONE can post practically ANYTHING to. That content is only vetted for pornographic content, etc. You can basically say whatever you want about anyone and someone with too much time on their hands and no life will believe it. WHY? Because they have no life. DO YOU ALREADY!!!
If this man is going to hell or any place else, that will be determined by the Most High, not you. You can try to hide inside your religious doctrines like the very Pharisees that Christ railed against (interesting isn't it...) or you can follow the example of Christ and come out and walk among the everyday people speaking in a common language to point them to the Most High. WAKE UP and stop being "so-and-so said" puppets for your pastors, imans, rabbis and other spiritual leaders. Your faith is YOUR responsibility. Seek God for yourself first and foremost, stop being misled by ignorance and bound in prejudice because you refuse to wake up. You are plugged into the Faithtrix that has rocked you asleep. WAKE UP...THE TRUTH RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!!! Stop waiting for God, because God is waiting for you to WAKE UP!!!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Got AIDS?
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Here's a wake up call for those of you that answered, "no!" without really knowing...
Just because someone looks F-I-N-E doesn’t mean they’re “just fine” and don’t have HIV, AIDS or any other STDs. Many people today despite the reality of the deadly consequences of promiscuity and indiscriminate sex continue to put themselves and their partners at risk by making non-thinking choices. Guys continue to go down on women they barely know. Women continue to let guys inside of them raw (without a condom) because “they don’t look sick.” There is a class of individuals that frequently find themselves incarcerated and make the “lack of access” excuse as a rationale for their sleeping with others of their same gender. These people then go on to infect others knowingly or otherwise.
( ( ( sDOTtv) ) ) now playing Girl with AIDS looks to INFECT men to get back at them!!!
If you have or suspect you maybe at risk for HIV, click by this website and educate yourself on your next step options - HIV Treatment Is Power!!!
Here's a wake up call for those of you that answered, "no!" without really knowing...
Just because someone looks F-I-N-E doesn’t mean they’re “just fine” and don’t have HIV, AIDS or any other STDs. Many people today despite the reality of the deadly consequences of promiscuity and indiscriminate sex continue to put themselves and their partners at risk by making non-thinking choices. Guys continue to go down on women they barely know. Women continue to let guys inside of them raw (without a condom) because “they don’t look sick.” There is a class of individuals that frequently find themselves incarcerated and make the “lack of access” excuse as a rationale for their sleeping with others of their same gender. These people then go on to infect others knowingly or otherwise.
( ( ( sDOTtv) ) ) now playing Girl with AIDS looks to INFECT men to get back at them!!!
If you have or suspect you maybe at risk for HIV, click by this website and educate yourself on your next step options - HIV Treatment Is Power!!!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I'm Just Not Feeling You
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
This week's show is entitled "I'm Just Not Feeling You" join us Friday @ 10 p.m. - midnight on The BOOTY Call Show with S-Dot & Friends. We'll be discussing how to get rid of that people baggage as you embark on your 2010 journey.
( ( ( Special Show ) ) )
HANDLING YOUR BUSINESS – On this DYA! (do you already) special edition “Earn that BOOTY” (stop being a pirate) show S-Dot, the social media mogul will be sharing tips and advice on how-to navigate the social media marketplace building your personal and corporate brand with right now relevance. You’re going to need a notepad to take notes on this informative show that will equip, encourage and empower you to handle you business instead of allowing your business to handle you. Join S-Dot & special guests on Sunday, January 10th 2015 @ 8 – 9 p.m. (Eastern). Call-in 347.308.8527.
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Billboard Q & A with Raphael Saadiq
Raphael Saadiq is an inspiring creative visionary that remains faithful to honing his skills as a songwriter, musician, vocalist, producer and performer.
Here’s a reposting from an e-mail I sent to 40 of my peops in July 23, 2009:
20/20 has shown me that in past relationships where I was unprepared to receive my partner as a blessing I resorted to self-destructive patterns. I would start irrational arguments, pull a disappearing act or become withdrawn for no reason at all. Of course it would infuriate me even more if my partner was caring enough to show me compassion when I felt overwhelmed by my feelings. There were times when I simply wanted to say, “I’m terrified of being in a relationship with you because I’m so screwed up. I keep waiting for you to wake up and realize that you deserve some more traditional-type dude.”
This was self-defeatism in practice.
Have you ever experienced emotional whiplash? Meeting the “right” person if you’re still the “wrong” person is like receiving a gift and then being cursed.
Being vulnerable can be terrifying when you’ve built up strongholds against transparency. I was in a dysfunctional coma for most of my past relationships, waking up to the possibilities of love oftentimes made me hesitant. Not because of what others weren’t doing, but rather because I have been conditioned to be overly suspicious of relationships since I functioned as a relational vampire (widow) relying on deceptive practices to beguile others. Entering the realm of romance requires you to depart the prison of circumstance. Many of us are so embittered by what’s happened to us that we lose sight of the blessing of the live-and-learn lessons.
“You should know what I like.” An assumptive phrase like this usually causes a person to shutdown. Why? Because it presupposes that the hearer “should know,” what they admittedly don’t know. This makes them feel negative about themselves because they are inadequate making them retreat from the conversation. Couples constantly work on preconceived notions expecting others to be mind readers and this is unfair. No one can “know” what you like 100% of the time, especially if you have communication issues. If you recognize that you had said things like this, check yourself. Don’t blame your partner for not knowing; take responsibility for you not showing them.
Don’t set unsustainable behavioral patterns. If you’re not into sports, don’t pretend to be into them just to make a favorable impression with someone you’re interested in dating. If you do this will eventually become a problematic area in which they feel misled by you. You can express an interest in sports, and even accompany them to games, but don’t pretend that’s an interest if it isn’t.
- From the forthcoming book, The Sojourner Truth Moment (RTK Communications)
The S-Dot Files Empowered U Library
VOLUME ONE // Exposing the Game: Learning How-to Stop Playing Yourself
VOLUME TWO // OVERCOMING the BOOTY: Breaking the Sex Hex
VOLUME THREE // The Sojourner Truth Moment
VOLUME FOUR // RESET the ATMOSPHERE: Putting Your Life in Order
VOLUME FIVE // You’ve Fallen, Now Get Up!
VOLUME SIX // WHEN? You’ve Talked About It, Now Be About It!
VOLUME SEVEN // Lost & Found: Becoming a Man of Purpose
This week's show is entitled "I'm Just Not Feeling You" join us Friday @ 10 p.m. - midnight on The BOOTY Call Show with S-Dot & Friends. We'll be discussing how to get rid of that people baggage as you embark on your 2010 journey.
( ( ( Special Show ) ) )
HANDLING YOUR BUSINESS – On this DYA! (do you already) special edition “Earn that BOOTY” (stop being a pirate) show S-Dot, the social media mogul will be sharing tips and advice on how-to navigate the social media marketplace building your personal and corporate brand with right now relevance. You’re going to need a notepad to take notes on this informative show that will equip, encourage and empower you to handle you business instead of allowing your business to handle you. Join S-Dot & special guests on Sunday, January 10th 2015 @ 8 – 9 p.m. (Eastern). Call-in 347.308.8527.
( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Billboard Q & A with Raphael Saadiq
Raphael Saadiq is an inspiring creative visionary that remains faithful to honing his skills as a songwriter, musician, vocalist, producer and performer.
Here’s a reposting from an e-mail I sent to 40 of my peops in July 23, 2009:
20/20 has shown me that in past relationships where I was unprepared to receive my partner as a blessing I resorted to self-destructive patterns. I would start irrational arguments, pull a disappearing act or become withdrawn for no reason at all. Of course it would infuriate me even more if my partner was caring enough to show me compassion when I felt overwhelmed by my feelings. There were times when I simply wanted to say, “I’m terrified of being in a relationship with you because I’m so screwed up. I keep waiting for you to wake up and realize that you deserve some more traditional-type dude.”
This was self-defeatism in practice.
Have you ever experienced emotional whiplash? Meeting the “right” person if you’re still the “wrong” person is like receiving a gift and then being cursed.
Being vulnerable can be terrifying when you’ve built up strongholds against transparency. I was in a dysfunctional coma for most of my past relationships, waking up to the possibilities of love oftentimes made me hesitant. Not because of what others weren’t doing, but rather because I have been conditioned to be overly suspicious of relationships since I functioned as a relational vampire (widow) relying on deceptive practices to beguile others. Entering the realm of romance requires you to depart the prison of circumstance. Many of us are so embittered by what’s happened to us that we lose sight of the blessing of the live-and-learn lessons.
“You should know what I like.” An assumptive phrase like this usually causes a person to shutdown. Why? Because it presupposes that the hearer “should know,” what they admittedly don’t know. This makes them feel negative about themselves because they are inadequate making them retreat from the conversation. Couples constantly work on preconceived notions expecting others to be mind readers and this is unfair. No one can “know” what you like 100% of the time, especially if you have communication issues. If you recognize that you had said things like this, check yourself. Don’t blame your partner for not knowing; take responsibility for you not showing them.
Don’t set unsustainable behavioral patterns. If you’re not into sports, don’t pretend to be into them just to make a favorable impression with someone you’re interested in dating. If you do this will eventually become a problematic area in which they feel misled by you. You can express an interest in sports, and even accompany them to games, but don’t pretend that’s an interest if it isn’t.
- From the forthcoming book, The Sojourner Truth Moment (RTK Communications)
The S-Dot Files Empowered U Library
VOLUME ONE // Exposing the Game: Learning How-to Stop Playing Yourself
VOLUME TWO // OVERCOMING the BOOTY: Breaking the Sex Hex
VOLUME THREE // The Sojourner Truth Moment
VOLUME FOUR // RESET the ATMOSPHERE: Putting Your Life in Order
VOLUME FIVE // You’ve Fallen, Now Get Up!
VOLUME SIX // WHEN? You’ve Talked About It, Now Be About It!
VOLUME SEVEN // Lost & Found: Becoming a Man of Purpose
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)