For this blog, I'd like to share some personal insights and observations that I've included in singles and couples seminars. I've recently come across a book that outlined many of the things that I've been sharing with people for years and I was pleasantly surprised by the author's similarity in thinking.
5 Steps of Dating & Mating
1. Being friends – hangout in the neighborhood with the types you want in your life
2. Dating non-committed – take stock of the landscape without limiting your opinions
3. Dating exclusively – lay the foundation, but don’t behave as if you’re married
4. Engagement – discuss your building plans for a life together
5. Marriage – add the additional rooms; learn to love and grow
Write Your 3 Lists
1. Must-haves (Chill)
2. Compromises (Hmm…)
3. Hell Naws (Run!)
Whatever is on your heart or mind should be on these lists. It’s not shallow to have a preference, so stand on your truth. Be honest about what it is you desire, and remember these lists are about you gaining clarity. They’ll be very helpful towards you vision casting for the life you want. Don’t be stingy, be specific.
Be honest about your dating others, but sparing of the details during those dates. Use discretion, and do not intentionally overshare inflicting hurtfulness onto others.
If you don’t feel comfortable enough to admit to the life you’re living aside from your dating that person, you should reconsider why you’re dating them. Anyone that tries to accelerate the process passive-aggressively or otherwise should be addressed and removed if necessary. If they don’t know how to be your friend, don’t let them pretend they’re you’re partner.
Remember, you’re ideal partner is someone that’s ready, willing and available to be your friend. Don’t allow people to cage you into corners and use a smoother method to bewitch you into continuing with your life while you’re still getting to know one another. Do not place yourselves in compromising situations which will cloud your ability to objectively discern this individual’s truth absent of physicality and inappropriate emotional bonding.
This week on The S-Dot Files Radio we'll be discussing love + life issues delving into the how-tos for deciding when its time to take your relationship to the next level. Join us for a lively discussion Thursdays @ 11 p.m. (eastern) on BlogTalkRadio click by www.blogtalkradio.com/thesdotfiles and call-in to share 347.308.8527 on The BOOTY Call Show.
This blog content was inspired in part by The Five Phases of Dating, by Anita Charlot