Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thieves in the Temple

Have you developed a Potiphar's plan for 'what if' situations?

"Love come quick...Love come in a hurry" - Prince

Okay, for this blog I'm in the library after deciding to take the day off spontaneously. I need to do this more often. I'm planning to go to a few stores and window shop. Then go home and brush up some notes on a chapter. Also, Tanine extended an opportunity for me to speak to some young people this Saturday at 10:00 a.m., so I'm going to play around with a presentation that's young people-friendly. Hopefully someone can videotape this and I can youtube it. We'll see. Oh, and my sister MJ is having a soiree on February 12th at DeNiM Lounge in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn from 8 p.m. - Midnight and the theme is..."Mary J. Blige" playing all MJB classics all night. Women are strongly encouraged to come out adorned in their MJB-inspired finery.

Pray for me...being in a roomful fo MJBs (lol). Okay, now to this week's blog. I hope you enjoy. I typed it freehand without any text editor, so if they're are typos - don't point them out to me because you know I hate typos (God's still working on me).BEWARE there are THIEVES in the TEMPLE!!!


I'd like to share some notes for a chapter that I'm revising, let me know what you think. I've decided to make the book more encompassing of the struggles of all people, in and outside of church. It's not just a book for people that are following God, it's also a roadway to those desiring to follow the path of the Way of Truth. Of course there have been many that are trying to hijack God's vision for my life with their own person agendas, but that's not going to happen.

"You don't have a heaven or hell to put me in" so, just let me work it out with God and you focus on your salvation aiight!!!


Dara, 26, knew she had a flesh problem. Sexually active since she was 13, one day she simply got tired of all the booty calls and being a lust receptacle for men that she knew didn't love and respect her.

The one night stands. Condom breaks. Pregnancy scares. Yeast infections and UTIs simply weren't worth it. Besides, she kept hearing about her being in the highest risk group for HIV/AIDS, and although she didn't personally know anyone with it, she knew a few people that did know those who contracted it and perished. This kept her up nights. Whenever she got a cold, she wondered. If she lost weight, she wondered. Yes, she'd taken an HIV test two years ago, but there had been many instances since then where she could've gotten infected.

So, her broken spirit led her to the altar of the House of Empowerment (or H.O.E., not their real name). At the H.O.E. she felt immediate acceptance from that first Sunday morning service when she arrived too weary for words. The people were very welcoming. Especially the brothers. And they were F-I-N-E.

It seemed like the perfect place to start life anew.

Her transformation was immediate. She stopped wasting her free time and hard earned money at afterwork mix-n-mingles, which were just excuses for 'hooking up' later in the week. That time was repurposed with Bible study, small group meetings and fellowship activities. Accomplished, attractive and anointed - the congregation embraced her. Her sisters in faith often praised her for that 'real talk' testimony about her prodigal years.

And the wolves were salivating, watching...

Soon Deacon Chris began inviting her to lunch after service to share church gossip. Then Minister Kevin, her pastor's protege started e-mailing her devotionals after getting her e-mail address off a mass e-mail. Before long, even the seasoned Elder Green was paying her closer attention.

All of them were single and seemingly unattached. She wasn't interested, but the attention was nice.

Then one day Sister Iris gave her "the look". You know the look that undeniably says, I'm not feeling you. Yes, it was definitely the look.

This perplexed her. She'd never had anything but respect for Iris. In fact, she counted her as one of the few friends she had in the congregations. Iris was the one who befriended her that day she answered the altar call. Something was wrong. She was confused, so she confided in Minister Kevin.

"I drink the arsenic of your hearts." - Father Below

He counseled: It's because God's favor is upon you. Some sisters can't handle your anointing. They've probably been praying for years, with little or no results. And then to watch God working in and through you makes them envious. Don't get caught up in that. Keep your distance and pray for that sister.

Sounds good, but there was an underlying unspoken truth. Minister Kevin was circling Sister Iris last year when she joined the H.O.E. flock. This was an identical scenario. Iris saw what that lying, cheating snake at the pulpit was doing and it angered her. Her look was of concern, not condemnation. But, Dara in her spiritual immaturity could not discern that. She went to the one she should've been running from for advice and counsel.

Beloved, be on guard against the wolves amongst the sheep!

Kevin misused and discarded Iris.

He started out heaping all this private affirmation on her with those thoughtful e-mails, playful texts and late-night heart-to-heart phone calls. She thought he was a kindred spirit. Sure, they went to a few movies and a couple of concerts. And he never made a move. It seemed like they were en route to Couplesville. So yes, even though she knew it wasn't the best choice, Dara surrendered to her inner voice that desired him physically. All that time they spent together cultivated their attraction and stirred those feelings she sought celibacy and God to deal with for the last 7 months.

Eventually, she gave Minister Kevin - the one that reads the healing liturgy, preaches when pastor is out of town, offers intercessory prayer and facilitates the singleness small group - some booty. And he wasn't resisting. In fact, his freaky butt came back for some more booty almost daily for 4 months. It took her curbing his appetite with talks about them "speaking to pastor" and "doing the right thing" so they could work towards "getting married" to get him to reconsider their relationship....

Then bam!!! He dumped her.

Yep, just when Keisha showed up. They repeated his same "courtship" ritual right in front of her face. She warned Keisha, but she wouldn't listen. At first she warned her out of jealousy, and then because she realized that Kevin was a wolf in sheeps clother. After Kevin was done with her, Keisha was so broken sh left the H.O.E. is disgrace from all the whispering. That no-good Kevin told everyone how she was trying to "lead him astray" to cover his creepin' on God tracks.

Minister Kevin is a temple whoremonger. In the world he would call himself a pimp or a player. In church, he calls himself "a man of God" but he's really just a fan of flesh. Like the wicked sons of Eli in 1 Samuel 2:12-16, he too sticks his three-pronged fork (penis) into the pot for the choicest pieces of meat (booty). He considers himself privileged and entitled to these "offerings," which he's deluded himself to believe are God's gift to him.

In his pride-filled heart, he thinks they are helping him do "God's work" by being his concubines as he studies and prepares for ministry. He's even found and misappropriated some scriptures to help him rationalize his self-idolatry.

Kevin is drunk on favor. His pastor has been advised of his creepin' and given him a pass.

- From the forthcoming book, "OVERCOMING the BOOTY: Breaking the Sex Hex"

Have you ever been placed in a compromising position by someone in a position of authority who you entrusted to do the right thing? Well, it's not just the men that are taking advantage in positions of power, many women do this as well.

In my own experience, I dated someone in ministry earlier in my walk of celibacy that I was very upfront about my struggling in this area. This person claimed to be so supportive at first. She also lied about being a victim of sexual assault to ingrain herself into my pysche emotionally (this is common tactic of Jezebels) But within a few weeks after me developing emotional feelings from all that 'praying and laying hands' the inappropriate advances started.

Yep, we'd be embracing and then her hands would go right for my penis. I would stand there paralyzed not knowing what to do. I felt so violated! She was a woman of God. Ordained in ministry. Trained in seminary. Mentored in pastoral care. No, she wasn't a 'babe' in Christ, this was someone that others came to for theological advice and faith-based counseling. And yet there she was massaging my penis through my slacks, grinding her crotch against me talking about, "I'm about to cum."

I identified at that moment with many that have been sexually abused. I felt violated. When I asked her to stop, she started attacking my manhood.

I told her..."The Word..." and she abruptly cut me off with, "God knows your heart..." Yes, this 'seasoned' woman of God was trying the okeydoke on me. I left afterwards. We saw each other a few more times after that and it just got worst. One day she said, "I want you to know that I respect what you're doing. But, I want you to know if you want some ("booty") you can have it. I won't lose any respect for you. I know you're a good brother." As I sat there with my mouth wide open she then grinded her crotch on my leg until she climaxed. Eeeeh!!!

Needless to say, that was the last time she's been in my presence. I know I should've stopped her during, but my 'male' ego felt like it was unmanly to do that. The enemy is crafty, especially when he uses the people of God against one another. To this day she hasn't even acknowledge that she sexually assualt and violated me. I'm sure in her mind, like many women, the thought of a man being sexually abused and misused is foreign to her. But it's not to me.

I forgive her, but I won't ever be able to trust her in my presence again. Of course she calls me from time-to-time between brothers she's compromising with to check my 'status' because I realize I'm a 'trophy' hump for her. Never thought that I'd be somebody's 'prey' but that's what she sees me as. A lot of women do when you make a decision to change and stick with it.

Brothers, don't be afraid to turn down that booty. It might be infected with HIV/AIDS. You don't know what her ulterior motives may be down the line. You could find yourself with a 21-year mortgage ("child support") or worst...a stalker.

Let's all guard ourselves against the Thieves in the Temple.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Being William

BLOG ADVISORY – This blog is not suitable for those stuck in fakeness. It is intended for those desiring to growth in their sensuality maturity through real talk, about real people doing real things.

“Love empowers…lust devours” – S-Dot

What’s good peops,

For this blog, I’d like to share these clips and my commentary. I find each of them interesting and thought provoking. As I continue to go into manhood beyond maleness and the scales of lust are being replaced by visions of love, I feel led to let each of you know that you too deserve authentic love. Let’s stop living our lives like they’re stolen, and start being open to who God has chosen for each of us. I’m tired of blocking my helpmeet blessing by settling for bootlegs.

I’m an advocate for ‘keep it real media’ so with that in mind I’d like to share this video clip with you from “TrasherTV” which I love to watch online. Check them out sometimes.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing TrasherTV “Cake Baker Episode 3”

A FRIENDLY REMINDER: Watch your social portfolio. Don’t just engage and interact with anyone. Hanging out with doubters or those that refuse to win can lead to failure.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Girlfriends “Trick of Truth, Season 2”

To my girlfriend Joan (y’all stop fighting to be my Joan…lol),

Hey girl, I know sometimes you will fall down. But, I want you know that I’ll do what I can, as God allows making sure you get back up again. It’s never too late to get back up. No matter where you are and what happens to you. Get back up so that God can get the glory.

Your friend William (1-4-3)

Okay, now it’s time to speak to my other friends the Smashing Hump Kings too…

Hey boyfriend (it’s sad I have to make this disclaimer put here it goes – no homo),

Tired of making booty calls? Tired of settling for some other guy’s sloppy seconds? Hooked on hooking up? Check out this clip and if you see yourself then it maybe time to reexamine the choices your making. I know that I’ve done most of these things when I was “playing myself” as a player.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing “We Need Girlfriends Episode 9

Your friend the 40-year old re-Virgin (1-4-3)

The appetizer to a sensual relationship is developing authentic communication that’s based on love and not driven by lust. So often as men and women trapped in male and femaleness, we function in our physicality by our mental whims and end up spiritually separated from God.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Summer & Seth “Virginity Pt.1”

Friends, you are worth waiting for. Don’t rush to disaster. Slow down and enjoy the process of being in love.

Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

What issues are flowing out of your heart? Your depression is often tied to your obsession with possessions. Your anxiety rests on your anguish. Guard your heart. Desiring love, but feeding your heart lust will lead to emotional cardiac arrest. Don’t clog your relational arteries with the cholesterol of compromise.

My heart beats with expectancy for the season awaiting me…godly love.

1 John 5:4 guides me in inspiration to overcome the lust of world with faith in the love of God. In Matthew 12:34 His Lordship spoke of abundance coming from our hearts, which is why heart is abundantly filled with love for those that are unsaved.

There are principalities at work to hinder my personal growth and development. Choosng God didn’t take me off the enemy’s hit list. In fact, it just moved me up a few spots. I don’t deny that I’ll continue to have lust attacks. That’s part of the tribulation experienced by anyone within flesh. What I do is acknowledge the power of faith to overcome all adversity be triumphing for love.

Lust is untrustworthy. It is unpredictable. When it gets hard, it can’t make responsible choices. When it gets wet, it gives in to the moistness.
“From the book, “OVERCOMING the BOOTY: Breaking the Sex Hex

I wish you a GodSexy love…S-Dot

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


LET US PRAY: Eternal Father God, we thank You for this day of change. Lord God, we thank You for all who have given their lives, shared their dreams and remained faithful to Your will and Word to make this day possible. O' heavenly Father, on this day we ask that You hear our prayers of intercession on behalf of our divinely appointed leader Barack Hussein Obama, his wife Michelle and their two daughters Malia and Sasha. Father in heaven dispatch Your angels from on high to surround him with a hedge of protection as he goes forth with audacious boldness to swing the sword of change cutting away the sameness of the past. Let this day inspire all who admire his tenacity, resolve and integrity to make the individual changes in their lives necessary for us to see the collective change we desire. Move the people of this great nation to become world changers that lead by example. Father God, we ask that You remove the plaque of bitterness and resentment from the hardened hearts of those that continue to backbite and speak against the leader that You, and You alone have appointed. Replace that vile discontent with a renewed heart and mind, repurposed for the betterment of humanity. Guide all of our leaders - democratic, independent and republican - local, regional, national and global in their decision making. Indwell them with the transformational power of the Holy Spirit. Let Your love shine as a beacon of hope, peace and deliverance in the Name that is above all Names our Lord and Savior, Yahushua (Isa/Jesus) Christ, amen, amen, amen!!!

Beloved, this is truly the day that the Lord has made. A day when a man of vision who was given the cross of bearing the burden of change can now stand in the crosshairs of history and proclaim, "Change has come. Change has come. Thank God Almighty, Change has come." I am proud to be an American. I am proud to see that our country which has a storied heritage of hate and divisiveness has come together to not just ask for, but rather to implement change. Each of us should rejoice on this day, but let us not lose sight of the long road ahead.

Change is a process.

It comes at a price. As we each go about this day celebrating and rejoicing, let us remember that this change requires our individual participation. Let us not be remiss in taking personal responsibility for ourselves, families, communities and nation. Change has come to inspire us to never settle for being the same again.

To my 1st family...

Brother Barack, I keep you and your family in my prayers. I cannot begin to know what the road ahead has prepared for you, but I am thankful that God has raised you up in these darkened times as a beacon of inspiration for this generation. Trying to convey my feelings with mere words doesn't begin to do justice to the sense of urgency I personally feel in my life to truly make change a mantra for not just me, but everyone around me. Thank you for leading by example. Thank you for being a man in a time of maleness. Thank you for simply showing what is possible when you hold true to your convictions and belief in God. May God's favor continue to be upon you.

Sister Michelle, I am so overjoyed that you stand beside, behind and when necessary in front of your man. You truly have become the template for me in terms of the types of woman I aspire to be worthy of to call my helpmeet. My prayers are with you, and I personally am ready to do all that God calls me to do to ensure that you and your family can continue to prosper and inspire this nation by your everyday examples. I am proud to see a woman of such regal grace, class and complexity simply rejoice in being fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you for being the new 'Ruth' (smile) for me, may Father's favor continue to be upon you.

Sisters Malia and Sasha, thank you for sharing your parents with us. I pray that you both continue to smile, laugh and enjoy life simply being two little girls whose dad has an important job. I lift you both up in prayer each day asking God to continue to instruct you in His precepts and principles so that you grow into women of virtue. I am proud of each of you and thank you for being examples of healthy, loving children loyal to their parents. May God's favor and praises be continually in your mouths.


( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing President Barack Obama “Inauguration Speech”

Sunday, January 11, 2009

When the Sheep Creep

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Various Artists “GodSexy Music”
GodSexy Music

Let us pray: Father God, hear my heart. Listen to the words unspoken by my mouth. O’ El-Loheim, Yahweh, El-Lyon the Way of Truth, search me for falsehood getting rid of all that offends You. Root out the seeds of discontentment. Uproot the unrighteous fruit of disobedience. Renew my mind with Divine wisdom. Cleanse my flesh with Blood of the Lamb. Indwell me with the Holy Spirit. Use me as a vessel of virtue in the name of Yahushua (Jesus) Christ the King, amen, amen, amen.

When the Sheep Creep

By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files

Let me ask you a question: Have you ever crept on God chasing after your own desires like Adam and Eve, and then found yourself trying to cover up your dirt with a fig leaf (Genesis 3:7-11) after you got busted for creepin’ on God? I did. It left me with a sense of unworthiness, and I eventually began to lose my personal intimacy with God, because I was trying to supplement it with lust for ‘godly’ people.

Over time, I realized that the reason I wasn’t growing in grace was because I wasn’t committed to being in His Presence with consistency. Like many people, I tried to isolate my time with God to service and ministerial activities. Outside of that…I did me. I was a carnal believer, which is akin to being a self-deceiver. I claimed an inheritance that I wasn’t willing to sacrifice to posses rightfully by living righteously.

A REBUKE WITH LOVE: Don’t just pray to God, obey God. Stop running your mouth about what you want and desire, and start disciplining yourself to prepare to be worthy to posses what He has ordained for you. It’s time to grow up in your faith, so that God will show up in your circumstances. You won’t be promoted to a covenant with a daughter or so of God until you’re devoted to her Father with obedience to His commands and ways. So, start walking with audacious boldness in faithfulness to the Way of Truth.

Sometimes, we’re so focused on the ‘hookup’, that we forget to ‘look up’ to God for guidance which leads us astray from His will and purpose. Until you repent you won’t be content with the choices that you’ve made apart from God. Until I started walking and talking with intentionality in my learning, Father did not begin to elevate me in my opportunities to teach the Way of Truth to others. I had to learn to follow Christ’s example of obedience before I could lead. I had to sharpen my pencil, before I could write the plan that He placed in my heart and mind. I had to discipline myself by diligently studying, before I could stand before a gathering of disciples of the Way of Truth equipping and empowering others in and beyond the Beloved Community. I had to develop my gifts, not focus on the glimpses that He provided. Why? The glimpses were to merely motivate me, not to distract and stagnate me. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as coming to and responding to the self-realization that we’ve taken our eyes off the prize (God) that gets us refocused.

REAL TALK: A dreamer must become a visionary to bring purpose into practice.

Here’s a question that I received from a brother in Christ that’s in distress because he’s struggling between obeying the “process” of waiting on God, and he’s praying for the strength to honor his woman from God.

Q: What’s good bruh? Dude I hope you can help a brother out. I’m stressed out these days. Let me start off by saying, I fully recognize and acknowledge that I have a serious lust problem. I’ve recently been tapped by leadership to serve on the deacon board, and this has increased my visibility in the congregation considerably. Now since there aren’t many brothers in church that are committed enough to serve, those of us that do, are kind of looked at as the “chosen ones” in church. This of course makes it extremely difficult to just focus on serving and remaining focused. Those that work are blessed with perks. LOL Every time I turn around some sister says, “God gave me a revelation…” and it’s usually about us dating or getting better acquainted.

The women in church are so fine! Nah, bruh maybe you didn’t hear me…the women in church are F-I-N-E!!! And I’m not blind. Anyway, I started seeing this anointed young lady awhile back that directs and sings in the choir, and everything was going fine, at first. She has a beautiful voice, and when I see her ministering in service…I get so excited just watching her praise God. I know that sounds wrong, but there’s something about a fine woman worshipping that’s so sexy to me.

Now, we’ve really tried to live right, but brother it’s been hard. She’s so F-I-N-E, and sometimes that body of hers just be calling me like that crack did to Pookie in “New Jack City.” LOL

For real! We’ve had some near misses and a few slips... Okay…we’ve slept together three times in the last month, but we didn’t get much sleep. I’m not even going to lie. It was good too! Each time we prayed afterward, and said it wouldn’t happen again, but it did. And I wasn’t mad either. The first time was so beautiful. The second time we were intimate, was right after I drove her home from a revival service, where she ministered. I know that sounds really bad… But bruh, when I see that anointing fall on her… I want to fall on her. I know that’s wrong, but…I am absolutely head over heals for this woman. We’ve been seriously talking about marriage, she’s helped me get my head right too. Yep, I’m sprung.

But, we’ve gotten off track. Now, we don’t talk the way we use to lately. Instead, we spend a lot of time avoiding talking about ‘doing it’. I guess we’ve started focusing so much on getting married we failed to realize, we’re still not married.

Anyway, lately she’s been avoiding me. I really miss our open talks as friends. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times, but she wouldn’t reveal what was really wrong at first. Then the other day after choir practice she told me that she can’t keep “doing this,” because it’s making her feel like a hypocrite standing in front of the congregation knowing she’s not living right. I agreed 100% and told her I feel that way too. It was the first time in weeks that I saw a smile return to her beautiful face.

In fact, I can barely look pastor in the eyes. I sure he discerns something is wrong. He’s dropped some not so subtle hints, but I assured him things were fine. I hate lying to his face. I feel like such a wolf among the sheep.

Without any doubt whatsoever, I love her. Not just romantically, I love her as a woman of God. I really want to work on repairing the damage we’ve done to our relationship. She’s such a wonderful, wise woman. I feel so ashamed, because everyone always talks about how there’s such an anointing on her ministry, and here I am consciously leading her into temptation.

Do you think that we can get back on track and get married, or should I just accept that I messed up, and leave her alone? Help brother… - The Wolf

A: First of all, in the Spirit of Truth, I rebuke you embracing the title “The Wolf.” I bind the foul imagination that conjured up such a deception in Jesus Christ’s Holy Name. Amen, amen, amen!

BROTHER TO BROTHER: I’ve also seen and experienced the same ‘view from the pew’ and I know how ‘GodSexy’ that anointing can be. I know it all too well. In fact, I wrote a book about it…GodSexy (stay tuned…it’s a page turner). A person that loves God, even if they’re struggling has such a ‘soul glow’ to them that’s very attractive. That anointing gives them a radiance of righteousness and you’ll find yourself drawn to that Divine reflection in their presence. It draws you in like bugs to those fluorescent lamps at a backyard BBQ. You know that you shouldn’t look into the light, but it’s just so beautiful, soothing and comforting and then…zap! You’re dead.

Bruh, don’t go into the light. Turn, don’t burn. Repent.

First of all bruh, it’s time to be real with yourself. Are you her Boaz? If not, stop blocking that sister’s opportunity to receive her true Boaz. As Ludacris says, “Move…Get out the way!” Don’t be a ‘blessing blocker’ because you’re too selfish to allow God’s “process” to take place. Let her continue to glean in the fields with faithfulness to the Way of Truth, so that Father can bring her into a season of wholeness (completion) where she can reap the harvest of her ordained kinsman-redeemer.

Before you answer: let’s reflect on the prophetic words of caution from the prophet Micah: “They covet fields and seize them, and houses and take them away; they oppress and crush a man and his house, a man and his inheritance (Micah 2:2 Amp).” Don’t covet, seize, take and crush the hopes of her Boaz. If you know that she’s not your covenant helpmeet, release her. And, don’t be a punk that dismisses her because of your moral failure, running away from accountability. Father will not honor that cowardice. Man up!

Now let’s look at the example of David after he was anointed by Samuel to be king: he still wasn’t ready to step into the king’s shoes. He knew he had to submit to the “process” of transformation in order to be a rightful possessor of the anointing on his life. If David would’ve tried to become king overnight just because he was anointed, he would’ve met with disastrous results. Because, although he was “called,” Father knew he wasn’t ready to be “sent.” Like you and I, David had to spend some time in the “wilderness” in order for the impurities in his character to be refined. He had to do the work, and wait on God to move in his individual situation. Not get so caught up in his destination that he lost sight of the journey necessary to arrive there.

Remember, the period between your “calling” and your “coming” into purpose is necessary. Unfortunately, too many people today want to “cum” (not “come” that’s not a typo) whenever their flesh “calls” rather than honor and respect the significance of how the season of singleness prepares us for the covenant of ‘yoked life’ (marriage). If you can’t be faithful to God, you definitely can’t be faithful to a child of God. Why would you respect the child, when you refuse to honor the Father?

Brother, you’re trying to forego your “wilderness,” experience by claiming a “glimpse” as a “gift” and you’re out of alignment with Father God’s will. I think you need to pull over and prayerfully ask Him for directions to get back on track.

Pastor Paul E. Sheppard, Jr. of Abundant Life Christian Center on his “Enduring Truth” program once pointed out in one of his teachings entitled, “Lessons from the Pasture: Part 3” that your wilderness helps you develop in three essential areas: “1) Wisdom, 2) Stature, 3) Favor with God and men.”

BOLD POINT: If you don’t submit to the “process” you won’t be able to commit to the covenant that God has prepared specifically for you, period.

If you plant lust, you’ll harvest distrust.

REAL TALK: You’re compromise is creepin’ on God bruh, and that’s not cool.

“Just because she’s fine doesn’t mean she’s mine.” That’s something I repeat to myself whenever I see an attractive, anointed woman of God these days.

In being real with myself, I had to implement a “no dating” policy at my church home. Oh, and please don’t get it confused either…the women in my church are F-I-N-E too. And that was the problem in itself. I simply could not focus on handling my Father’s business while stealing side glances at His beautiful daughters of divinity. They’re so ‘GodSexy’. It was such a problem for me that I had to cut back on participating in certain ministries since I recognized I was having serious challenges. The “20/30 something” ministry was such a struggle that I stopped going altogether. The “Singles” ministry… Not for this brother. The women there had that ‘Ruth’ complex and their Boaz radar was always on. It was so distracting hearing good godly women en route to becoming great women of God express their heart longing desires to find a brother that wanted to ‘love them long, long time’ the godly way.

So, I laced up my Potiphar’s (Nike’s) and ran like Joseph.

Earlier in my walk, I dated a divinely anointed minister. She (let's call her .25) was such a breath of fresh air in comparison to the spiritual divas and biblical infants I dated prior. We could discuss theology into the wee hours of the morning. She loved romantic-comedies like me. 2wo5ive had a deeply intimate relationship with Father. And she was F-I-N-E. Not cute, F-I-N-E, and she got finer each time I saw her.

From the moment we began dating, I knew there were going to be flesh challenges. And there were. We prayed about them. And still our flesh was on fire. Why? Because Father was calling me to man up, and take responsibility for my flesh problem. Until then, it was easy to deal with my flesh when it came to blatantly carnal women. I simply shut them down.

But this was a woman that had that “soul glow,” and I was stuck and stuttering. She was also enamored with my anointing as a man of God, making the challenge even greater. She would touch me affectionately and I won’t even pretend that I tried to stop her. In fact, I touched her back a lot.

Yep, we found ourselves in GodSexy.

Our feelings left us too tongue tied to speak in tongues. Our desires had us so focused on the “gift,” that we lost sight of the “process.” So, Father shut our relationship down abruptly. I was devastated and embarrassed. Nearly everyone that saw us together assumed we’d be getting married. But, we allowed the enemy to creep in. That enemy wasn’t Satan…that enemy was our unwillingness to address our flesh problem with God. So, I had to stop shamming, and be real with God. I wasn’t ready to be the blessing that I wanted to see. I had to do some serious work.

Let’s go back to Pastor Paul E. Sheppard, Jr. again to glean some more brotherly insight: “Until age 30, Jesus did no mighty work…because His time had not yet come. Jesus spent 30 years preparing for a 3 year ministry. And some of us don’t want to spend 3 years preparing for a 30 year career…The movements of God in your life don’t require you to be in a hurry. He knows what He’s up to in your life. God can afford to take His time with you. When God is creating a masterpiece He does nothing suddenly. When God is doing a deep work in your life, you’ve got to give Him time to work it out.”

BOLD POINT: If you want to go to the next-level of faithfulness in God, you’ve got to confront and overcome your giant in the wilderness of tribulation.

To paraphrase and remix the departed Johnnie Cochran: “To be legit, you must submit, and commit.” Until you allow God to feed you His manna, you’ll continue to be enslaved to your temporal yearnings and desires. You have to renew your mind by fasting with a reliance on the Source of all resources worth having. God is instructing you in faithfulness by requiring that you wait for His permission to go forth and posses what you desire in His time, not yours.

REAL TALK: The reason so many people are HIV-positive is because they’re GOD-negative.

Don’t get stuck in nonsense (S.I.N.) and allow sin to win. One of the ways that the enemy of the Way of Truth operates is by bringing about division to those that are called to serve in ministry for the Kingdom. If the enemy can get you to take on the posture of an accuser by falsely labeling her as a ‘Jezebel’ that’s trying to lead you astray, this will serve a two-prong objective: to get you to deny the Way of Truth and to make her embittered by undermining her reputation. Don’t fall for it, because you can’t control your flesh. I’ve dated a few real ‘Jezebels’, and trust me you’ll know the difference. There are enough legitimate ‘Jezebels’ out there, so don’t accuse one that is merely struggling with their flesh, just like you. Man up!

Don’t conceal your indiscretion and allow that shame to undermine the ministry that Father has called each of you. Seek God with an open heart, and ears listening for His words of wisdom. Be thankful you both have the blessing of covering in your shepherd. Use that vehicle to drive you to restoration. I strongly encourage you and your young lady to consider going before your servant-leader (pastor) to confess your indiscretion, allowing him to counsel you towards getting wholly back on track. Brother, if your relationship is ordained by God to become the blessing of marriage, the seeds you sow into that fertile ground right now will determine the harvest you reap years later. Set a precedent for truth. It’s time to draw a line in the sand, and not double back to cross it.

Trying to suffer in silence, without accountability, will continue to be a stronghold for the enemy to trip you up. It will make you focus on your inward shortcomings attacking one another, rather than turning to God for strength and deliverance.

It’s encouraging to see that you know that she is a woman of value and you want to honor that with more than your lips. That’s important and necessary to establish an atmosphere of affirmation in your relationship. There’s nothing more attractive than accountability. Anyone can “do them,” but only a truly mature person can take responsibility for their shortcomings. If you don’t, then it shouldn’t surprise you when she “dry snitches” about her backsliding with you in a tearful testimonial in front of the whole congregation. So, man up!

It’s time to demonstrate that love you profess for her. It’s easy to say you love someone when you’re enamored with their good, godly qualities. The true test of that love comes when tribulation comes upon you, and you’re not just enraptured by attraction, which becomes a distraction en route to fulfilling God’s purpose. If you love her, prove it. Man up!

John 3:16 says: “God so loved the world that He gave…” What are you willing to give as a demonstration of this love you profess?

Pick up your cross. Acknowledge what has been lost. Allow the Comforter to guide you to restoration. Let’s look to the prophetic account of Yahweh’s will in Ezekiel 22:30 NIV “I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before Me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none.” Brother, are you prepared to “stand in the gap” for your relationship before God?

If you truly desire to be her someday priest, prophet and king (husband), you have to start by showing her that you are man, not just of his word, but of the Word of God. Yes, you’ve fallen short in your moral compromise (S.I.N.), but you can and should demonstrate fortitude by enduring through this challenge to your relationship. You must show her that she can trust you with her future, by a willingness to take responsibility for your past indiscretions being accountable in the present circumstance of adversity to responsive leadership.

I SAY TO BOTH OF YOU: Don’t forfeit your future because of a moral failure. I strongly encourage you to prayerfully seek out faith-based couples counseling, separately and together. Each of you has been entrusted with the responsibilities of servant-leadership, and it’s essential that you have accountability protocols in place to keep you from stumbling. Your ministries are being closely watched by others, and if you don’t show true humility right now, you will set a precedent for denial and deception. That will become your cross to bear in your walk and the enemy of the Way of Truth will use every opportunity to undermine your faith with challenges in this area. Your life’s ministry will be serving as a cautionary sign to others by your downward living in compromise.

It is time for you both to sacrificially invest in your relationship by repentance.

If you truly believe in your heart that she is the woman that God has prepared exclusively for you, then you’re going to have to fight for her. You’re going to have to show Father your repentance for defiling His daughter. Don’t let the enemy make you a coward by running away from responsibility. Show her that you are a man of integrity. This is the hour to man up and live right, to stand up in Christ and rise to claim your prize of a blessed life. You must reestablish an environment of holiness in your relationship by true repentance. This is the time to do it, not tomorrow. Don’t wait another day. Go to her and tell her that you apologize to her as a man of God and then take your repentance before Father God together in oneness. Don’t do it to gain leverage with her, do it because that’s what God deserves from you since you’ve defiled His daughter and yourself with compromise. Do it now.

Congratulations, God’s hand is upon you so heavy its weighing down your conscious. I know the weight of His presence maybe intimidating, but just imagine life without God… Exactly. Rejoice in the Lord! God chastens those He loves.

NOW IT’S TIME TO STUDY YOUR BLESSINGS…Brother, trust in the Lord it’s time to sharpen your sword. Over the next se7en days meditate and pray on these words of wisdom until they penetrate your weak flesh conforming it to a spirit willing to honor the Way of Truth by practicing holiness as a lifestyle:

1. “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl. (Job 3:31 NIV – You’re just a window shopper)”
2. “For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. (1 John 2:16 NIV – All that “blings” isn’t from the King).”
3. “Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life. Proverbs 6:25-26 NIV – looks can be deceiving and expensive).”
4. “The LORD rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness. The LORD delivered you into my hands today, but I would not lay a hand on the LORD's anointed. (1 Samuel 26:23 NIV – if you try it, you buy it).”
5. “Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble (2 Peter 2:10 – Man up!).”
6. “Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.” (Ecclesiastes 9:9 NLT – life with a wife-piece)
7. “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the LORD; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.” (Numbers 32:23 NIV)

In service to the Christ the King of kings,

The S-Dot Files

ABOUT S-DOT: Saved to serve, he is a communicator for Christ. Through writing and speaking, he has answered his calling to be used as a motivator of the masses. His practical life lessons empower everyday hearers to seek the change they desire by going forth with audacious boldness living an intentional blessed life.