Booker
Taliaferro Washington (1865-1915) instilled the highest aspirations in those on
the lowest rungs of society, not despite their challenges, but rather in spite
of them. He was motivator who espoused self-reliance as a paradigm for change
during his “Sunday Evening Talks.” Mr. Washington has been one of my lifelong “mentors”
who has taught me the importance of working smarter. I’d like to share this
daily affirmation I say to myself in front of the mirror from his audio book/book
“Character Building” which I listen to repeatedly. Oftentimes, I fall asleep
with it playing in my headphones so that his powerful words can seep into my
unconscious mind, and I awaken with a renewed level of commitment to going to
the next-level of achievement.
“I am not
going to be conquered by life, mean thoughts, words and acts any longer.
Hereafter all my thoughts, all my words, all my acts, shall be large, generous,
high, pure.” – Booker T. Washington, Character Building
Let
me be great…this is what those of us reared in the hard knock everyday
struggle of Brooklyn want.
As I sat
down to write my sister in-law Miriam
Carey’s obituary last week, I thought long and hard about my life, and the
lives of those around me. I make my living as a writer. I’ve written countless
obituaries over the years. Each opportunity presents a new set of creative challenges.
How much to
do I include? What should I exclude?
In a
nutshell, an obituary is a snapshot summary of a lifetime of experiences. I don’t
believe in boilerplate prose that doesn’t convey the uniqueness of the
narrative of each person’s life; so I make considerable effort in having an
open dialogue with the family and friends to gain a more meaningful perspective
of who they were individually. This isn’t always the fastest process, but I
have found it to be the most rewarding. It gives those grieving something to
cherish as they look back and reflect on their lost loved ones.
Miriam Carey
was not a sound bite. Her 34 years of life cannot be simply reduced to a
segment between commercials. She was a mother, daughter, sister, friend,
coworker and a neighbor to many. Miriam made a difference in the lives of those
who knew her. Many of you have spent the last few days talking about and
seeking #AnswersForMiriamCarey, my question is: What will people say about you
when you’re gone?
The reason
some many people go without is because of the fear of going within to unearth
the life-limiting beliefs and love-blocking behaviors that keep you from
becoming and being the best Y-O-U. From time-to-time, we each need a ‘reality
check’ to awaken us from our dreams so we can focus achieving them. Let me
share two with you.
REALITY CHECK NO 1:
You Are Going to Die
No matter
how successful you become. Whether or not you accomplish your goals or continue
to procrastinate and pretend today isn’t the tomorrow you were waiting for to
make a change. All of us are going to one day bid this world farewell, period.
REALITY CHECK NO 2:
People Will Talk About You
Some people
are addicted to CNN (as in Constantly
Negative News). Let the legacy you leave behind be more than just idle
gossip on other people’s lips. You might as well give them something worth
talking about it.
Miriam lived
by the “Don’t be good…Be great”
mantra inbred in Brooklynites. She lived with a next-level focus, never
settling for less-than-best in all she did and aspired to do. The everyday challenges
of life taught her that whining isn’t winning. This was a quality we both
shared. and one which I see in her sister, my wife.
Your
obituary hasn’t been written yet. Today is yet another opportunity to influence
what people will someday say about you. Don’t waste another moment staring in
the rearview mirror of regret worrying about things that could’ve, should’ve
and would’ve been – focus on what is. Remember, the reason it’s called the ‘present’
is because it’s a ‘gift’ which you need to value by being responsible,
accountable and productive.
The life you’ve
been given should be worth living. If you find that you spend most of your time
daydreaming about other people’s success and wishing you had what others have
then you definitely need The Remix. Until
next time - #DontBeGoodBeGreat
Stay tuned for the debut of The Remix: Becoming YOU 2.0 (2014) by inspiring author,
motivational speaker and empowerment coach Shaam S-Dot Jones filled with life-changing insights to help you navigate
your personal growth journey.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
If possible, take a “mental wellness” day off today. This will reduce the possibilities of conflict. If not possible, it’s best to prepare yourself in advance before you enter your workplace or other settings where potential conflict might arise. There is an increased likelihood that someone will attempt to rile you up with insensitive comments that will be used to taunt you into escalating a difference of opinion into an all-out conflict: don’t fall for this.
Instead of complaining about situations which you find objectionable seek out workable solutions to rectify them or contribute your time and energy towards a resolution. Remember, you are in that particular setting (work, school, etc.) for a reason – to retain resources which will benefit yourself and your family – so don’t get drawn into unfruitful exchanges.
YOUR ARE NOT SWEET BROWN. Therefore, don’t say things like “ain’t nobody got time for that” to your tormentors. This will only heighten their aggression towards you. If you truly don’t have “time for that” show it, rather than say it, by walking away and engaging in more constructive activity.
Here are few helpful tips to get you through the day:
DON’T OFFER UNSOLICITED OPINIONS or “dry snitch” on others who may be engaged in activities which serve the purpose of responding directly or indirectly to a current crisis.
MAINTAIN PHYSICAL DISTANCE by creating a “safe space” atmosphere, if the other person moves towards you tactfully avoid them without appearing obvious.
ASSUME A PRAYER POSITION with your hands in a non-threatening manner which keeps them safely in the line of sight to avoid any accusations of physical intimidation.
REMAIN LEVEL-HEADED with a clear, sober-minded approach utilizing strategic logic rather than emotionally-driven responses to taunts and insults.
***REMEMBER*** Racists are insecure. Their paradigm of privilege and power relies on domination and control in order to be maintained. They feed off of the energy of their intended victims. The most constructive method for dealing with a suspected or confirmed racist is to “starve” their hunger for hurt. Do not feed their need to abuse and confuse you.
S-Dot has been Black for more than four decades. He has been subjected to verbal abuse, mental anguish and physical intimidation in every setting imaginable – playground, school, work and home. S-Dot shares his lived-and-learned experiences to help others avoid the pitfalls of everyday life with constructive solutions to counter non-productive situations.
S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
S-Dot is a man. S-Dot is a brand.
I recognize and acknowledge have value in the social marketplace that is rooted my cultural capital as someone who shares and speaks unapologetically about Black Love. I am an ambassador of Black people affirming and loving themselves.
My time is no longer misspent on focusing on others. Those distractions used to squander my time, but I now know better, so I show better. Showing better is my ongoing sharing of “Black Love Is…” images and content. It is the #UsLovingUs messaging strategy to help push Black Love to forefront of the minds of hurting people who are bombarded with non-constructive content and destructive messages every day, all day long.
Anti-blackness is rampant. It is a socially-transmitted virus, which has mutated and afflicts Black people the worst. In many instances, those exhibiting the most severe forms of anti-blackness are Black people against other Black people. Chris Rock was right in pointing out that there is a Uncivil War going on between Black people and N*gg*s.
If you look around it appears the n*gg*s are decisively winning according to external (“mainstream”) media.
This reality is hard to face. It produces shame and blame amongst us whenever we attempt to confront it. Most of us would prefer the comfort of staring out the window at others and pointing fingers elsewhere, rather than standing in front of the mirror and facing the images of our broad noses, full lips, melanin-dominant skin and coiled hair.
We hate ourselves. The oxymoron is that we love everyone else, or at least we think we do.
Corruption Disruption is the term I coined to reverse market the harmful messages that impact the individual self-esteem and collective values of Black people. I use social media as a weapon. My blog posts, status updates, tweets and comments offer a contrast to the chaos and confusion too often presented as a reflection of Black people.
My goal is to pushback against long-held false beliefs and accepted untruths about us usually by us.
Anti-blackness is challenged each time a Black person views an undeniably sexy image of Black couples celebrating their union with the redefining tagline: Black Love Is… This disrupts the corrupt misinformation embedded in the minds of Black people about themselves and other Black people. It is a form of cultural shock therapy. Painful, but highly-effective.
This is also why I use the declarative statement: Black Love is NOT for everyone. Those who don’t desire or aspire to have Black Love are placed on notice that the content being presented may not be suitable for them and advised to apply the Rule of K.I.M. (Keep It Moving).
Anyone who has worked with me over the years will tell you that I am a branding genius. That’s right, I am a branding genius! False modesty is not one of my stronger suits (lol). I know how to get seen and be heard in the marketplace.
This is why I do what I do.Any questions?
S-Dot for The S-Dot FilesI AM MALCOLM X!!!
In the summer of 1992 at the conclusion of Spike Lee’s brilliant autobiographical masterpiece “X” when it was released in theaters many of us stood on our feet with tears streaming down our cheeks and boldly shouted, “I Am Malcolm X!”
This generational declaration soon had us dubbed as “Generation X” by Madison Ave.
As Generation X, we adorned ourselves with fitted “X” caps, t-shirts, plastered our walls with posters and submerged ourselves in books and tapes on our beloved shining hero of Black Liberation Minister Malcolm X (Malik El Hajj Shabazz). Yet, none of us actually had to pick up the mantle and shoulder the burden of actually “Being Malcolm.” As time progressed, many of that merchandised got shoved to the back of closets, a lot of that fiery angst got toned down in order to get “good jobs” and those angry protests just became hushed conversations.
Generation X became Generation ‘I got next’.
However, 8 years earlier, Malcolm Lateef Shabazz was born “Malcolm” in 1984. As the first male heir of his grandparents the Honorable Malik El Hajj and Dr. Betty Shabazz, he lived his life “Being Malcolm.”
For him, his “X” was an almost inescapable shadow cast over every one of his actions. Inheriting a legacy is a difficult mantle to carry. It is oftentimes a thankless burden with overwhelming expectations and harsh criticisms from opinionated outsiders. Those who speculate usually perpetuate an atmosphere of angst and turmoil. He could do no wrong, and everything he thought he did right still fell short of “Being Malcolm.” His name became his prison.
He was watched.
Not like most of us Black males who find ourselves occasionally under suspicion when we exit a store, pulled over driving, stopped after going through the turnstile on the subway or fitting the “description” of someone who looks nothing like us. He was watched for real. There will people assigned to track and monitor his coming and goings. His associations were cataloged and his involvements were placed in a file. Most of us won’t see that file until it is ‘declassified’ decades from now.
On Thursday, May 9, 2013, just 10 days before what would’ve been the 88th birthday of his grandfather Malcolm Lateef Shabazz was murdered in Tijuana, Mexico in what has been reported as a botched robbery which led to him being thrown from a roof to his death.
Coincidence???
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Being called "angry" when you're Black is oftentimes meant as a condescending stereotype which is intended to lull the militant, misbehaving individual back into submissive control. This is communication a tactic which is used frequently whenever a Black man, woman or children simply refuses to accept an unacceptable condition or their mistreatment passively.
Sound familiar?
While listening to the new unreleased gem by Lauryn Hill "Black Rage" and transcribing its lyrics, I thought long and hard about those who try to silence our voices with threats of physical and socio-economic violence. The barrage of taunts and leering looks of disdain that come when Black people simply want to love Black people...
Being introspective...makes you a sadn*gg*. Expressing indignation...makes you a madn*gg*. Fighting against injustice...makes you a badn*gg*. It seems the world wants and expects you to be a gladn*gg*. It's enough to inspire...Black Rage!!!((( sDOTtv ))) now playing Lauryn Hill“Black Rage (Live)”BLACK RAGE by LAURYN HILL
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t fear so bad…
Black rage is founded on two-thirds a person
Rapings and beatings and suffering that worsens
Black human packages tied up in strings
Black rage is founded on these kinds of things
Black rage is founded on blatant denial
Squeezed economics, subsistent survival
Deafening silence and social control
Black rage is found on wounds in the soul
So when the dogs bite
And when the beatings
And when I’m feeling sad
I simply remember all these kinds of things and then I don’t “fear” so bad
Black rage is founded who fed us self-hatred
Lies and abuse while we waited and waited
Spiritual treason
This grid and it's cages
Black rage was founded on these kinds of things
Black rage is founded on dreaming and draining
Threatening your freedom
To stop your complaining
Poisoning your water
While they say it's raining
Then call you mad
For complaining, complaining
Black rage is founded on blocking the truth
Old time bureaucracy
Drugging the youth
Murder and crime
Compromise and distortion
Sacrifice, sacrifice
Who makes the fortune?
Greed, falsely called progress
Such human contortion
Black rage is founded on these kinds of things
So when the dog bites
And when the ceilings
And I’m feeling mad
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t fear so bad
Free enterprise
Is it myth or illusion
Forcing you back into purposed confusion
Black human trafficking
Or blood transfusion
Black rage is founded on these kinds of things
Victims of violence
Both psyche and body
Life out of context IS living ungodly
Politics, politics
Greed falsely called wealth
Black rage is founded on denying of self
Black human packages
Tied and subsistence
Having to justify your very existence
Try if you must
But you can’t have my soul
Black rage is founded (made by) on ungodly control
So when the dog bites
And the beatings
And I’m feeling so sad
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t feel so bad
So when the dog bites
And when the ceilings
And I’m feeling mad
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t fear so bad
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files((( sDOTv ))) now playing Uncle Ruckus
The Confederate flag, for many is still a revered symbol of pride. Many laid down their life to protect what it represented. They rejoice in their sentimental fondness for the “good ole days” when it was expected and respected to put darkies in their place. For them, it isn’t an emblem of treason against their country. The proud rebel son is unapologetic about his lynch mob heritage and affinity for strange fruit. He doesn’t deny his terroristic history of rape and murder, he embraces it. To him, it is what it is.
The song “Accidental Racist” is the equivalent of saying “I have a Black friend” which is what suspected racists claim whenever they’re called on their BS by more observant individuals. This the old, “I can’t be a racist because I live next door to…work with…listen to music by…” rationalization used to disarm discerning critics who smell the stench of racism still rearing its ever-present ugly head in everyday life.
The “accident” supposedly is that flag wearers are “unaware” of the racist sentiments attached to their Confederate flag. They are somehow clueless that it symbolically represents an allegiance to plantation culture which relied solely on chattel slave labor. It’s not their fault that despite access to Google they don’t know about the hateful heritage attributed to many who brandished their beloved Dixie memorabilia in an effort to keep things the same.
On the one hand, many ‘conservative’ whites celebrate their heritage of exploration and conquest. They see themselves as heirs apparent to a powerful numerical minority (white people make up 8-to-9 percent of the global population) who have shrewdly seized majority privileges (resources) from the global masses of non-white people. On the other hand, some ‘liberal’ whites cringe with red-faced embarrassment at ever-present contemporary reminders of the atrocities committed to enable them to pretend they don’t see their unearned privileges or notice allure of their stolen power.
To the disenfranchised, white is white. People denied power and privilege make no distinction between ‘conservative’ or ‘liberal. They are symbolically one in the same. One is overt and the other is covert in their practice of racism; not just as an ideology, but as a religion.
Racism (white supremacy) is not an accident. It is an intentional system of suppression and oppression. The ‘accidental racist’ is a mythological character. This non-existent individual is a figment of the misguided imagination of victims who would rather believe certain individuals are ignorant rather indifferent to the truth of what racism is and how it works. Contrary to their wishful thinking racism is alive and thriving. It is rampant and ever-present as a subtext to our everyday conversations and interactions. Despite all the proclamations of being in a ‘post racial’ world racism continues to divide us because of our unwillingness to acknowledge its presence and confront its ugliness.
UNCLE L BECOMES UNCLE RUCKUS
I hoped and prayed it wasn’t so, but when a younger hip-hopper sent me a tweet yesterday of the new “Accidental Racist” video starring Brad Paisley and LL Cool J my mouth was left wide open in a WTF grimace.
James Todd Smith aka LL Cool J was once considered the G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time) in hip-hop. His discography is chock full of memorable classics – I Need A Beat, I’m Bad, Doin’ It, Mama Said Knock You Out – too numerous to name. He has dominated the music charts, captivated the small and big screen, dabbled in literature and served as brand ambassador to global trendsetters. His accolades speak volumes of his “LL” standing for “living legacy”, but that legacy has been tarnished.
The irony that LL is peddling a new album entitled “Authentic” slated to be released April 30th and is featured on such a “inauthentic” song has countless people dismissing him as irrelevant and out-of-touch with today’s reality.
Having to explain to a 45-year old man that racism still exists is sad. For someone who was born January 14th, just one day before Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929) in 1968, the same year Dr. King was assassinated to be clueless about racism is truly reflective of how detached we’ve become from the reality of the ‘dream’ which remains a ‘nightmare’ for many. LL appears simply clueless. Perhaps he’s spent so much time “acting” that he’s lost sight of the ‘keep it real’ credibility factor demanded by the streets.
With more than two-decades of putting in work he is fast-becoming irrelevant. Check the blogosphere. It’s over for LL. Many are saying “it’s a wrap” for the now disgraced rapper/actor.
Check the rhyme yourself:((( sDOTv ))) now playing Brad Paisley featuring LL Cool J"Accidental Racist"
Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood
What the world is really like when you're livin' in the hood
Just because my pants are saggin' doesn't mean I'm up to no good
You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would
Now my chains are gold but I'm still misunderstood
I wasn't there when Sherman's March turned the south into firewood
I want you to get paid but be a slave I never could
Feel like a new fangled Django, dodgin' invisible white hoods
So when I see that white cowboy hat, I'm thinkin' it's not all good
I guess we're both guilty of judgin' the cover not the book
I'd love to buy you a beer, conversate and clear the air
But I see that red flag and I think you wish I wasn't here
I'm just a white man
(If you don't judge my do-rag)
Comin' to you from the Southland
(I won't judge your red flag)
Tryin' to understand what it's like not to be
I'm proud of where I'm from (If you don't judge my gold chains)
But not everything we've done
(I'll forget the iron chains)
It ain't like you and me can re-write history
(Can't re-write history baby)
First of all, there’s nothing culturally empowering about a man wearing a head scarf (doo rag). The absurdity of comparing and contrasting a fashion accessory with an emblem of nationalist pride is embarrassing. As a Black man, I am not just offended by LL’s ignorance, I am ashamed of his pathetic attempt to pretend he is socially-conscious after nearly two-decades of silence.
GTFOHWTMFBS!“Dear Mr. White Man…” As usual, the confused victim of racism shuffles his feet and shows reverence for those he views as being socially superior. Not surprisingly, “Mrs. White Woman” gets off again without so much of a mention. Interestingly enough, it was because of Mrs. White Woman that Mr. White Man committed some many horrific atrocities and willingly raised that rebel flag to ensure she could remain a creature of comfort.
The only people confused about racism are victims of racism (Black people). The beneficiaries and practitioners are quite intentional about their everyday activities. They are told they have privilege and power based upon their racial classification as soon as they're born. There is no such thing as an "accidental racist", and it's not necessary to focus on the victim (LL) and his lack of knowledge because that's a diversionary tactic used by the skillful racist. Just as we don't berate rape victims for wearing the "wrong" clothes or not "knowing better"; pummeling of the victim (LL) seems counterproductive in this instance.
But I could be wrong; I too suffer from racial retardation.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Generational depression is running rampant today. Many people who are often perceived as having a lot of “potential” are experiencing extreme bouts of sadness which they are unable or unwilling to share with others. With so many distractions (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to preoccupy their time this generation is becoming more disconnected from resources that can help stop their hurting. Are you depressed?
Here are a few signs of depression:
- Find yourself focusing on other people’s lives more than your own.
- Constantly negatively comparing yourself to others and feel like a failure.
- When you see someone accomplishing something you verbally attack them (“He/she thinks they’re better than…”) or spread malicious gossip (“I heard he/she…”) to contribute to conflict.
- Smoke or drink yourself to sleep and/or awake to smoke/drink to get your day started.
- Six-pack turns into a keg or 40 oz (you are abdominally challenged).
- Find yourself consumed with television programs or video games.
If any of these signs sound familiar it is highly likely you are suffering from depression. You should reach out and get help today.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
As we come to another February which is set aside as "Black History Month" each year, I think it's vitally important that we not just look back and reflect on unsung heroes/sheroes of yesteryear. It is equally important that we acknowledge the continuing efforts of those committed to growth and development of Black people right here, right now.
DR. FRANCES CRESS WELSING
Born in Chicago on March 18, 1935, this third generation physician practices general and child psychiatry in Washington, DC specializing in behavioral science rooted in her “Cress Theory of Color Confrontation” which is explored in her must-read book “The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors (1991).”
The brilliant Dr. Welsing shared in the Isis Papers, "Racism (white supremacy) is the local and global power system and dynamic, structured and maintained by persons who classify themselves as white, whether consciously or subconsciously determined; which consists of patterns of perception, logic, symbol formation, thought, speech, action, and emotional response, as conducted, simultaneously in all areas of people activity (economics, education, entertainment, labor, law, politics, religion, sex, and war); for the ultimate purpose of white genetic survival and to prevent white genetic annihilation on planet Earth - a planet upon which the vast and overwhelming majority of people are classified as nonwhite (black, brown, red and yellow) by white skinned people, and all of the nonwhite people are genetically dominant (in terms of skin coloration) compared to the genetic recessive white skin people."
Neely Fuller Jr., Dr. Frances Cress Welsing & Dr. Na'im Akbar (Pictured left to right)
She began her career at Cook County Hospital as an intern (1962-63); then became a resident in general psychiatry at St. Elizabeth Hospital (1963-66); advanced to a fellowship child psychiatry at Children's Hospital (1966-68); and entered private practice in general and child psychiatry in Washington, DC in 1966; served as assistant professor of pediatrics at Howard University College of Medicine (1968-75); clinical director at Hillcrest Children's Center (1975-76); affiliated with Paul Robeson School for Growth and Development, North Community Mental Health Center, Washington, DC, (1976-90).
(((sDOTtv))) now playing Dr. Frances Cress Welsing"Black Mental Health"
Dr. Welsing has appeared in the critically-acclaimed documentaries “500 Years Later (2005)”and “Hidden Colors: The Untold History of People of Aboriginal, Moor, and African Descent (2011)” sharing her insights on the color consciousness impact on the world’s mass oppressive social hierarchy. She has appeared on numerous television and radio shows; been invited as a lecturer on numerous campuses and remains a vibrant advocate for global justice.
