Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thieves in the Temple
Have you developed a Potiphar's plan for 'what if' situations?
"Love come quick...Love come in a hurry" - Prince
Okay, for this blog I'm in the library after deciding to take the day off spontaneously. I need to do this more often. I'm planning to go to a few stores and window shop. Then go home and brush up some notes on a chapter. Also, Tanine extended an opportunity for me to speak to some young people this Saturday at 10:00 a.m., so I'm going to play around with a presentation that's young people-friendly. Hopefully someone can videotape this and I can youtube it. We'll see. Oh, and my sister MJ is having a soiree on February 12th at DeNiM Lounge in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn from 8 p.m. - Midnight and the theme is..."Mary J. Blige" playing all MJB classics all night. Women are strongly encouraged to come out adorned in their MJB-inspired finery.
Pray for me...being in a roomful fo MJBs (lol). Okay, now to this week's blog. I hope you enjoy. I typed it freehand without any text editor, so if they're are typos - don't point them out to me because you know I hate typos (God's still working on me).BEWARE there are THIEVES in the TEMPLE!!!
I'd like to share some notes for a chapter that I'm revising, let me know what you think. I've decided to make the book more encompassing of the struggles of all people, in and outside of church. It's not just a book for people that are following God, it's also a roadway to those desiring to follow the path of the Way of Truth. Of course there have been many that are trying to hijack God's vision for my life with their own person agendas, but that's not going to happen.
"You don't have a heaven or hell to put me in" so, just let me work it out with God and you focus on your salvation aiight!!!
THIEVES IN THE TEMPLE
Dara, 26, knew she had a flesh problem. Sexually active since she was 13, one day she simply got tired of all the booty calls and being a lust receptacle for men that she knew didn't love and respect her.
The one night stands. Condom breaks. Pregnancy scares. Yeast infections and UTIs simply weren't worth it. Besides, she kept hearing about her being in the highest risk group for HIV/AIDS, and although she didn't personally know anyone with it, she knew a few people that did know those who contracted it and perished. This kept her up nights. Whenever she got a cold, she wondered. If she lost weight, she wondered. Yes, she'd taken an HIV test two years ago, but there had been many instances since then where she could've gotten infected.
So, her broken spirit led her to the altar of the House of Empowerment (or H.O.E., not their real name). At the H.O.E. she felt immediate acceptance from that first Sunday morning service when she arrived too weary for words. The people were very welcoming. Especially the brothers. And they were F-I-N-E.
It seemed like the perfect place to start life anew.
Her transformation was immediate. She stopped wasting her free time and hard earned money at afterwork mix-n-mingles, which were just excuses for 'hooking up' later in the week. That time was repurposed with Bible study, small group meetings and fellowship activities. Accomplished, attractive and anointed - the congregation embraced her. Her sisters in faith often praised her for that 'real talk' testimony about her prodigal years.
And the wolves were salivating, watching...
Soon Deacon Chris began inviting her to lunch after service to share church gossip. Then Minister Kevin, her pastor's protege started e-mailing her devotionals after getting her e-mail address off a mass e-mail. Before long, even the seasoned Elder Green was paying her closer attention.
All of them were single and seemingly unattached. She wasn't interested, but the attention was nice.
Then one day Sister Iris gave her "the look". You know the look that undeniably says, I'm not feeling you. Yes, it was definitely the look.
This perplexed her. She'd never had anything but respect for Iris. In fact, she counted her as one of the few friends she had in the congregations. Iris was the one who befriended her that day she answered the altar call. Something was wrong. She was confused, so she confided in Minister Kevin.
"I drink the arsenic of your hearts." - Father Below
He counseled: It's because God's favor is upon you. Some sisters can't handle your anointing. They've probably been praying for years, with little or no results. And then to watch God working in and through you makes them envious. Don't get caught up in that. Keep your distance and pray for that sister.
Sounds good, but there was an underlying unspoken truth. Minister Kevin was circling Sister Iris last year when she joined the H.O.E. flock. This was an identical scenario. Iris saw what that lying, cheating snake at the pulpit was doing and it angered her. Her look was of concern, not condemnation. But, Dara in her spiritual immaturity could not discern that. She went to the one she should've been running from for advice and counsel.
Beloved, be on guard against the wolves amongst the sheep!
Kevin misused and discarded Iris.
He started out heaping all this private affirmation on her with those thoughtful e-mails, playful texts and late-night heart-to-heart phone calls. She thought he was a kindred spirit. Sure, they went to a few movies and a couple of concerts. And he never made a move. It seemed like they were en route to Couplesville. So yes, even though she knew it wasn't the best choice, Dara surrendered to her inner voice that desired him physically. All that time they spent together cultivated their attraction and stirred those feelings she sought celibacy and God to deal with for the last 7 months.
Eventually, she gave Minister Kevin - the one that reads the healing liturgy, preaches when pastor is out of town, offers intercessory prayer and facilitates the singleness small group - some booty. And he wasn't resisting. In fact, his freaky butt came back for some more booty almost daily for 4 months. It took her curbing his appetite with talks about them "speaking to pastor" and "doing the right thing" so they could work towards "getting married" to get him to reconsider their relationship....
Then bam!!! He dumped her.
Yep, just when Keisha showed up. They repeated his same "courtship" ritual right in front of her face. She warned Keisha, but she wouldn't listen. At first she warned her out of jealousy, and then because she realized that Kevin was a wolf in sheeps clother. After Kevin was done with her, Keisha was so broken sh left the H.O.E. is disgrace from all the whispering. That no-good Kevin told everyone how she was trying to "lead him astray" to cover his creepin' on God tracks.
Minister Kevin is a temple whoremonger. In the world he would call himself a pimp or a player. In church, he calls himself "a man of God" but he's really just a fan of flesh. Like the wicked sons of Eli in 1 Samuel 2:12-16, he too sticks his three-pronged fork (penis) into the pot for the choicest pieces of meat (booty). He considers himself privileged and entitled to these "offerings," which he's deluded himself to believe are God's gift to him.
In his pride-filled heart, he thinks they are helping him do "God's work" by being his concubines as he studies and prepares for ministry. He's even found and misappropriated some scriptures to help him rationalize his self-idolatry.
Kevin is drunk on favor. His pastor has been advised of his creepin' and given him a pass.
- From the forthcoming book, "OVERCOMING the BOOTY: Breaking the Sex Hex"
Have you ever been placed in a compromising position by someone in a position of authority who you entrusted to do the right thing? Well, it's not just the men that are taking advantage in positions of power, many women do this as well.
In my own experience, I dated someone in ministry earlier in my walk of celibacy that I was very upfront about my struggling in this area. This person claimed to be so supportive at first. She also lied about being a victim of sexual assault to ingrain herself into my pysche emotionally (this is common tactic of Jezebels) But within a few weeks after me developing emotional feelings from all that 'praying and laying hands' the inappropriate advances started.
Yep, we'd be embracing and then her hands would go right for my penis. I would stand there paralyzed not knowing what to do. I felt so violated! She was a woman of God. Ordained in ministry. Trained in seminary. Mentored in pastoral care. No, she wasn't a 'babe' in Christ, this was someone that others came to for theological advice and faith-based counseling. And yet there she was massaging my penis through my slacks, grinding her crotch against me talking about, "I'm about to cum."
I identified at that moment with many that have been sexually abused. I felt violated. When I asked her to stop, she started attacking my manhood.
I told her..."The Word..." and she abruptly cut me off with, "God knows your heart..." Yes, this 'seasoned' woman of God was trying the okeydoke on me. I left afterwards. We saw each other a few more times after that and it just got worst. One day she said, "I want you to know that I respect what you're doing. But, I want you to know if you want some ("booty") you can have it. I won't lose any respect for you. I know you're a good brother." As I sat there with my mouth wide open she then grinded her crotch on my leg until she climaxed. Eeeeh!!!
Needless to say, that was the last time she's been in my presence. I know I should've stopped her during, but my 'male' ego felt like it was unmanly to do that. The enemy is crafty, especially when he uses the people of God against one another. To this day she hasn't even acknowledge that she sexually assualt and violated me. I'm sure in her mind, like many women, the thought of a man being sexually abused and misused is foreign to her. But it's not to me.
I forgive her, but I won't ever be able to trust her in my presence again. Of course she calls me from time-to-time between brothers she's compromising with to check my 'status' because I realize I'm a 'trophy' hump for her. Never thought that I'd be somebody's 'prey' but that's what she sees me as. A lot of women do when you make a decision to change and stick with it.
Brothers, don't be afraid to turn down that booty. It might be infected with HIV/AIDS. You don't know what her ulterior motives may be down the line. You could find yourself with a 21-year mortgage ("child support") or worst...a stalker.
Let's all guard ourselves against the Thieves in the Temple.