Thursday, January 7, 2010

I'm Just Not Feeling You

By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files

This week's show is entitled "I'm Just Not Feeling You" join us Friday @ 10 p.m. - midnight on The BOOTY Call Show with S-Dot & Friends. We'll be discussing how to get rid of that people baggage as you embark on your 2010 journey.

( ( ( Special Show ) ) )
HANDLING YOUR BUSINESS – On this DYA! (do you already) special edition “Earn that BOOTY” (stop being a pirate) show S-Dot, the social media mogul will be sharing tips and advice on how-to navigate the social media marketplace building your personal and corporate brand with right now relevance. You’re going to need a notepad to take notes on this informative show that will equip, encourage and empower you to handle you business instead of allowing your business to handle you. Join S-Dot & special guests on Sunday, January 10th 2015 @ 8 – 9 p.m. (Eastern). Call-in 347.308.8527.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Billboard Q & A with Raphael Saadiq

Raphael Saadiq is an inspiring creative visionary that remains faithful to honing his skills as a songwriter, musician, vocalist, producer and performer.

Here’s a reposting from an e-mail I sent to 40 of my peops in July 23, 2009:

20/20 has shown me that in past relationships where I was unprepared to receive my partner as a blessing I resorted to self-destructive patterns. I would start irrational arguments, pull a disappearing act or become withdrawn for no reason at all. Of course it would infuriate me even more if my partner was caring enough to show me compassion when I felt overwhelmed by my feelings. There were times when I simply wanted to say, “I’m terrified of being in a relationship with you because I’m so screwed up. I keep waiting for you to wake up and realize that you deserve some more traditional-type dude.”

This was self-defeatism in practice.

Have you ever experienced emotional whiplash? Meeting the “right” person if you’re still the “wrong” person is like receiving a gift and then being cursed.

Being vulnerable can be terrifying when you’ve built up strongholds against transparency. I was in a dysfunctional coma for most of my past relationships, waking up to the possibilities of love oftentimes made me hesitant. Not because of what others weren’t doing, but rather because I have been conditioned to be overly suspicious of relationships since I functioned as a relational vampire (widow) relying on deceptive practices to beguile others. Entering the realm of romance requires you to depart the prison of circumstance. Many of us are so embittered by what’s happened to us that we lose sight of the blessing of the live-and-learn lessons.

“You should know what I like.” An assumptive phrase like this usually causes a person to shutdown. Why? Because it presupposes that the hearer “should know,” what they admittedly don’t know. This makes them feel negative about themselves because they are inadequate making them retreat from the conversation. Couples constantly work on preconceived notions expecting others to be mind readers and this is unfair. No one can “know” what you like 100% of the time, especially if you have communication issues. If you recognize that you had said things like this, check yourself. Don’t blame your partner for not knowing; take responsibility for you not showing them.

Don’t set unsustainable behavioral patterns. If you’re not into sports, don’t pretend to be into them just to make a favorable impression with someone you’re interested in dating. If you do this will eventually become a problematic area in which they feel misled by you. You can express an interest in sports, and even accompany them to games, but don’t pretend that’s an interest if it isn’t.

- From the forthcoming book, The Sojourner Truth Moment (RTK Communications)

The S-Dot Files Empowered U Library

VOLUME ONE // Exposing the Game: Learning How-to Stop Playing Yourself
VOLUME TWO // OVERCOMING the BOOTY: Breaking the Sex Hex
VOLUME THREE // The Sojourner Truth Moment
VOLUME FOUR // RESET the ATMOSPHERE: Putting Your Life in Order
VOLUME FIVE // You’ve Fallen, Now Get Up!
VOLUME SIX // WHEN? You’ve Talked About It, Now Be About It!
VOLUME SEVEN // Lost & Found: Becoming a Man of Purpose

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