Booker
Taliaferro Washington (1865-1915) instilled the highest aspirations in those on
the lowest rungs of society, not despite their challenges, but rather in spite
of them. He was motivator who espoused self-reliance as a paradigm for change
during his “Sunday Evening Talks.” Mr. Washington has been one of my lifelong “mentors”
who has taught me the importance of working smarter. I’d like to share this
daily affirmation I say to myself in front of the mirror from his audio book/book
“Character Building” which I listen to repeatedly. Oftentimes, I fall asleep
with it playing in my headphones so that his powerful words can seep into my
unconscious mind, and I awaken with a renewed level of commitment to going to
the next-level of achievement.
“I am not
going to be conquered by life, mean thoughts, words and acts any longer.
Hereafter all my thoughts, all my words, all my acts, shall be large, generous,
high, pure.” – Booker T. Washington, Character Building
Let
me be great…this is what those of us reared in the hard knock everyday
struggle of Brooklyn want.
As I sat
down to write my sister in-law Miriam
Carey’s obituary last week, I thought long and hard about my life, and the
lives of those around me. I make my living as a writer. I’ve written countless
obituaries over the years. Each opportunity presents a new set of creative challenges.
How much to
do I include? What should I exclude?
In a
nutshell, an obituary is a snapshot summary of a lifetime of experiences. I don’t
believe in boilerplate prose that doesn’t convey the uniqueness of the
narrative of each person’s life; so I make considerable effort in having an
open dialogue with the family and friends to gain a more meaningful perspective
of who they were individually. This isn’t always the fastest process, but I
have found it to be the most rewarding. It gives those grieving something to
cherish as they look back and reflect on their lost loved ones.
Miriam Carey
was not a sound bite. Her 34 years of life cannot be simply reduced to a
segment between commercials. She was a mother, daughter, sister, friend,
coworker and a neighbor to many. Miriam made a difference in the lives of those
who knew her. Many of you have spent the last few days talking about and
seeking #AnswersForMiriamCarey, my question is: What will people say about you
when you’re gone?
The reason
some many people go without is because of the fear of going within to unearth
the life-limiting beliefs and love-blocking behaviors that keep you from
becoming and being the best Y-O-U. From time-to-time, we each need a ‘reality
check’ to awaken us from our dreams so we can focus achieving them. Let me
share two with you.
REALITY CHECK NO 1:
You Are Going to Die
No matter
how successful you become. Whether or not you accomplish your goals or continue
to procrastinate and pretend today isn’t the tomorrow you were waiting for to
make a change. All of us are going to one day bid this world farewell, period.
REALITY CHECK NO 2:
People Will Talk About You
Some people
are addicted to CNN (as in Constantly
Negative News). Let the legacy you leave behind be more than just idle
gossip on other people’s lips. You might as well give them something worth
talking about it.
Miriam lived
by the “Don’t be good…Be great”
mantra inbred in Brooklynites. She lived with a next-level focus, never
settling for less-than-best in all she did and aspired to do. The everyday challenges
of life taught her that whining isn’t winning. This was a quality we both
shared. and one which I see in her sister, my wife.
Your
obituary hasn’t been written yet. Today is yet another opportunity to influence
what people will someday say about you. Don’t waste another moment staring in
the rearview mirror of regret worrying about things that could’ve, should’ve
and would’ve been – focus on what is. Remember, the reason it’s called the ‘present’
is because it’s a ‘gift’ which you need to value by being responsible,
accountable and productive.
The life you’ve
been given should be worth living. If you find that you spend most of your time
daydreaming about other people’s success and wishing you had what others have
then you definitely need The Remix. Until
next time - #DontBeGoodBeGreat
Stay tuned for the debut of The Remix: Becoming YOU 2.0 (2014) by inspiring author,
motivational speaker and empowerment coach Shaam S-Dot Jones filled with life-changing insights to help you navigate
your personal growth journey.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
If possible, take a “mental wellness” day off today. This will reduce the possibilities of conflict. If not possible, it’s best to prepare yourself in advance before you enter your workplace or other settings where potential conflict might arise. There is an increased likelihood that someone will attempt to rile you up with insensitive comments that will be used to taunt you into escalating a difference of opinion into an all-out conflict: don’t fall for this.
Instead of complaining about situations which you find objectionable seek out workable solutions to rectify them or contribute your time and energy towards a resolution. Remember, you are in that particular setting (work, school, etc.) for a reason – to retain resources which will benefit yourself and your family – so don’t get drawn into unfruitful exchanges.
YOUR ARE NOT SWEET BROWN. Therefore, don’t say things like “ain’t nobody got time for that” to your tormentors. This will only heighten their aggression towards you. If you truly don’t have “time for that” show it, rather than say it, by walking away and engaging in more constructive activity.
Here are few helpful tips to get you through the day:
DON’T OFFER UNSOLICITED OPINIONS or “dry snitch” on others who may be engaged in activities which serve the purpose of responding directly or indirectly to a current crisis.
MAINTAIN PHYSICAL DISTANCE by creating a “safe space” atmosphere, if the other person moves towards you tactfully avoid them without appearing obvious.
ASSUME A PRAYER POSITION with your hands in a non-threatening manner which keeps them safely in the line of sight to avoid any accusations of physical intimidation.
REMAIN LEVEL-HEADED with a clear, sober-minded approach utilizing strategic logic rather than emotionally-driven responses to taunts and insults.
***REMEMBER*** Racists are insecure. Their paradigm of privilege and power relies on domination and control in order to be maintained. They feed off of the energy of their intended victims. The most constructive method for dealing with a suspected or confirmed racist is to “starve” their hunger for hurt. Do not feed their need to abuse and confuse you.
S-Dot has been Black for more than four decades. He has been subjected to verbal abuse, mental anguish and physical intimidation in every setting imaginable – playground, school, work and home. S-Dot shares his lived-and-learned experiences to help others avoid the pitfalls of everyday life with constructive solutions to counter non-productive situations.
S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
S-Dot is a man. S-Dot is a brand.
I recognize and acknowledge have value in the social marketplace that is rooted my cultural capital as someone who shares and speaks unapologetically about Black Love. I am an ambassador of Black people affirming and loving themselves.
My time is no longer misspent on focusing on others. Those distractions used to squander my time, but I now know better, so I show better. Showing better is my ongoing sharing of “Black Love Is…” images and content. It is the #UsLovingUs messaging strategy to help push Black Love to forefront of the minds of hurting people who are bombarded with non-constructive content and destructive messages every day, all day long.
Anti-blackness is rampant. It is a socially-transmitted virus, which has mutated and afflicts Black people the worst. In many instances, those exhibiting the most severe forms of anti-blackness are Black people against other Black people. Chris Rock was right in pointing out that there is a Uncivil War going on between Black people and N*gg*s.
If you look around it appears the n*gg*s are decisively winning according to external (“mainstream”) media.
This reality is hard to face. It produces shame and blame amongst us whenever we attempt to confront it. Most of us would prefer the comfort of staring out the window at others and pointing fingers elsewhere, rather than standing in front of the mirror and facing the images of our broad noses, full lips, melanin-dominant skin and coiled hair.
We hate ourselves. The oxymoron is that we love everyone else, or at least we think we do.
Corruption Disruption is the term I coined to reverse market the harmful messages that impact the individual self-esteem and collective values of Black people. I use social media as a weapon. My blog posts, status updates, tweets and comments offer a contrast to the chaos and confusion too often presented as a reflection of Black people.
My goal is to pushback against long-held false beliefs and accepted untruths about us usually by us.
Anti-blackness is challenged each time a Black person views an undeniably sexy image of Black couples celebrating their union with the redefining tagline: Black Love Is… This disrupts the corrupt misinformation embedded in the minds of Black people about themselves and other Black people. It is a form of cultural shock therapy. Painful, but highly-effective.
This is also why I use the declarative statement: Black Love is NOT for everyone. Those who don’t desire or aspire to have Black Love are placed on notice that the content being presented may not be suitable for them and advised to apply the Rule of K.I.M. (Keep It Moving).
Anyone who has worked with me over the years will tell you that I am a branding genius. That’s right, I am a branding genius! False modesty is not one of my stronger suits (lol). I know how to get seen and be heard in the marketplace.
This is why I do what I do.Any questions?
S-Dot for The S-Dot FilesI AM MALCOLM X!!!
In the summer of 1992 at the conclusion of Spike Lee’s brilliant autobiographical masterpiece “X” when it was released in theaters many of us stood on our feet with tears streaming down our cheeks and boldly shouted, “I Am Malcolm X!”
This generational declaration soon had us dubbed as “Generation X” by Madison Ave.
As Generation X, we adorned ourselves with fitted “X” caps, t-shirts, plastered our walls with posters and submerged ourselves in books and tapes on our beloved shining hero of Black Liberation Minister Malcolm X (Malik El Hajj Shabazz). Yet, none of us actually had to pick up the mantle and shoulder the burden of actually “Being Malcolm.” As time progressed, many of that merchandised got shoved to the back of closets, a lot of that fiery angst got toned down in order to get “good jobs” and those angry protests just became hushed conversations.
Generation X became Generation ‘I got next’.
However, 8 years earlier, Malcolm Lateef Shabazz was born “Malcolm” in 1984. As the first male heir of his grandparents the Honorable Malik El Hajj and Dr. Betty Shabazz, he lived his life “Being Malcolm.”
For him, his “X” was an almost inescapable shadow cast over every one of his actions. Inheriting a legacy is a difficult mantle to carry. It is oftentimes a thankless burden with overwhelming expectations and harsh criticisms from opinionated outsiders. Those who speculate usually perpetuate an atmosphere of angst and turmoil. He could do no wrong, and everything he thought he did right still fell short of “Being Malcolm.” His name became his prison.
He was watched.
Not like most of us Black males who find ourselves occasionally under suspicion when we exit a store, pulled over driving, stopped after going through the turnstile on the subway or fitting the “description” of someone who looks nothing like us. He was watched for real. There will people assigned to track and monitor his coming and goings. His associations were cataloged and his involvements were placed in a file. Most of us won’t see that file until it is ‘declassified’ decades from now.
On Thursday, May 9, 2013, just 10 days before what would’ve been the 88th birthday of his grandfather Malcolm Lateef Shabazz was murdered in Tijuana, Mexico in what has been reported as a botched robbery which led to him being thrown from a roof to his death.
Coincidence???
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Being called "angry" when you're Black is oftentimes meant as a condescending stereotype which is intended to lull the militant, misbehaving individual back into submissive control. This is communication a tactic which is used frequently whenever a Black man, woman or children simply refuses to accept an unacceptable condition or their mistreatment passively.
Sound familiar?
While listening to the new unreleased gem by Lauryn Hill "Black Rage" and transcribing its lyrics, I thought long and hard about those who try to silence our voices with threats of physical and socio-economic violence. The barrage of taunts and leering looks of disdain that come when Black people simply want to love Black people...
Being introspective...makes you a sadn*gg*. Expressing indignation...makes you a madn*gg*. Fighting against injustice...makes you a badn*gg*. It seems the world wants and expects you to be a gladn*gg*. It's enough to inspire...Black Rage!!!((( sDOTtv ))) now playing Lauryn Hill“Black Rage (Live)”BLACK RAGE by LAURYN HILL
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t fear so bad…
Black rage is founded on two-thirds a person
Rapings and beatings and suffering that worsens
Black human packages tied up in strings
Black rage is founded on these kinds of things
Black rage is founded on blatant denial
Squeezed economics, subsistent survival
Deafening silence and social control
Black rage is found on wounds in the soul
So when the dogs bite
And when the beatings
And when I’m feeling sad
I simply remember all these kinds of things and then I don’t “fear” so bad
Black rage is founded who fed us self-hatred
Lies and abuse while we waited and waited
Spiritual treason
This grid and it's cages
Black rage was founded on these kinds of things
Black rage is founded on dreaming and draining
Threatening your freedom
To stop your complaining
Poisoning your water
While they say it's raining
Then call you mad
For complaining, complaining
Black rage is founded on blocking the truth
Old time bureaucracy
Drugging the youth
Murder and crime
Compromise and distortion
Sacrifice, sacrifice
Who makes the fortune?
Greed, falsely called progress
Such human contortion
Black rage is founded on these kinds of things
So when the dog bites
And when the ceilings
And I’m feeling mad
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t fear so bad
Free enterprise
Is it myth or illusion
Forcing you back into purposed confusion
Black human trafficking
Or blood transfusion
Black rage is founded on these kinds of things
Victims of violence
Both psyche and body
Life out of context IS living ungodly
Politics, politics
Greed falsely called wealth
Black rage is founded on denying of self
Black human packages
Tied and subsistence
Having to justify your very existence
Try if you must
But you can’t have my soul
Black rage is founded (made by) on ungodly control
So when the dog bites
And the beatings
And I’m feeling so sad
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t feel so bad
So when the dog bites
And when the ceilings
And I’m feeling mad
I simply remember all these kinds of things
And then I don’t fear so bad
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files((( sDOTv ))) now playing Uncle Ruckus
The Confederate flag, for many is still a revered symbol of pride. Many laid down their life to protect what it represented. They rejoice in their sentimental fondness for the “good ole days” when it was expected and respected to put darkies in their place. For them, it isn’t an emblem of treason against their country. The proud rebel son is unapologetic about his lynch mob heritage and affinity for strange fruit. He doesn’t deny his terroristic history of rape and murder, he embraces it. To him, it is what it is.
The song “Accidental Racist” is the equivalent of saying “I have a Black friend” which is what suspected racists claim whenever they’re called on their BS by more observant individuals. This the old, “I can’t be a racist because I live next door to…work with…listen to music by…” rationalization used to disarm discerning critics who smell the stench of racism still rearing its ever-present ugly head in everyday life.
The “accident” supposedly is that flag wearers are “unaware” of the racist sentiments attached to their Confederate flag. They are somehow clueless that it symbolically represents an allegiance to plantation culture which relied solely on chattel slave labor. It’s not their fault that despite access to Google they don’t know about the hateful heritage attributed to many who brandished their beloved Dixie memorabilia in an effort to keep things the same.
On the one hand, many ‘conservative’ whites celebrate their heritage of exploration and conquest. They see themselves as heirs apparent to a powerful numerical minority (white people make up 8-to-9 percent of the global population) who have shrewdly seized majority privileges (resources) from the global masses of non-white people. On the other hand, some ‘liberal’ whites cringe with red-faced embarrassment at ever-present contemporary reminders of the atrocities committed to enable them to pretend they don’t see their unearned privileges or notice allure of their stolen power.
To the disenfranchised, white is white. People denied power and privilege make no distinction between ‘conservative’ or ‘liberal. They are symbolically one in the same. One is overt and the other is covert in their practice of racism; not just as an ideology, but as a religion.
Racism (white supremacy) is not an accident. It is an intentional system of suppression and oppression. The ‘accidental racist’ is a mythological character. This non-existent individual is a figment of the misguided imagination of victims who would rather believe certain individuals are ignorant rather indifferent to the truth of what racism is and how it works. Contrary to their wishful thinking racism is alive and thriving. It is rampant and ever-present as a subtext to our everyday conversations and interactions. Despite all the proclamations of being in a ‘post racial’ world racism continues to divide us because of our unwillingness to acknowledge its presence and confront its ugliness.
UNCLE L BECOMES UNCLE RUCKUS
I hoped and prayed it wasn’t so, but when a younger hip-hopper sent me a tweet yesterday of the new “Accidental Racist” video starring Brad Paisley and LL Cool J my mouth was left wide open in a WTF grimace.
James Todd Smith aka LL Cool J was once considered the G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time) in hip-hop. His discography is chock full of memorable classics – I Need A Beat, I’m Bad, Doin’ It, Mama Said Knock You Out – too numerous to name. He has dominated the music charts, captivated the small and big screen, dabbled in literature and served as brand ambassador to global trendsetters. His accolades speak volumes of his “LL” standing for “living legacy”, but that legacy has been tarnished.
The irony that LL is peddling a new album entitled “Authentic” slated to be released April 30th and is featured on such a “inauthentic” song has countless people dismissing him as irrelevant and out-of-touch with today’s reality.
Having to explain to a 45-year old man that racism still exists is sad. For someone who was born January 14th, just one day before Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929) in 1968, the same year Dr. King was assassinated to be clueless about racism is truly reflective of how detached we’ve become from the reality of the ‘dream’ which remains a ‘nightmare’ for many. LL appears simply clueless. Perhaps he’s spent so much time “acting” that he’s lost sight of the ‘keep it real’ credibility factor demanded by the streets.
With more than two-decades of putting in work he is fast-becoming irrelevant. Check the blogosphere. It’s over for LL. Many are saying “it’s a wrap” for the now disgraced rapper/actor.
Check the rhyme yourself:((( sDOTv ))) now playing Brad Paisley featuring LL Cool J"Accidental Racist"
Dear Mr. White Man, I wish you understood
What the world is really like when you're livin' in the hood
Just because my pants are saggin' doesn't mean I'm up to no good
You should try to get to know me, I really wish you would
Now my chains are gold but I'm still misunderstood
I wasn't there when Sherman's March turned the south into firewood
I want you to get paid but be a slave I never could
Feel like a new fangled Django, dodgin' invisible white hoods
So when I see that white cowboy hat, I'm thinkin' it's not all good
I guess we're both guilty of judgin' the cover not the book
I'd love to buy you a beer, conversate and clear the air
But I see that red flag and I think you wish I wasn't here
I'm just a white man
(If you don't judge my do-rag)
Comin' to you from the Southland
(I won't judge your red flag)
Tryin' to understand what it's like not to be
I'm proud of where I'm from (If you don't judge my gold chains)
But not everything we've done
(I'll forget the iron chains)
It ain't like you and me can re-write history
(Can't re-write history baby)
First of all, there’s nothing culturally empowering about a man wearing a head scarf (doo rag). The absurdity of comparing and contrasting a fashion accessory with an emblem of nationalist pride is embarrassing. As a Black man, I am not just offended by LL’s ignorance, I am ashamed of his pathetic attempt to pretend he is socially-conscious after nearly two-decades of silence.
GTFOHWTMFBS!“Dear Mr. White Man…” As usual, the confused victim of racism shuffles his feet and shows reverence for those he views as being socially superior. Not surprisingly, “Mrs. White Woman” gets off again without so much of a mention. Interestingly enough, it was because of Mrs. White Woman that Mr. White Man committed some many horrific atrocities and willingly raised that rebel flag to ensure she could remain a creature of comfort.
The only people confused about racism are victims of racism (Black people). The beneficiaries and practitioners are quite intentional about their everyday activities. They are told they have privilege and power based upon their racial classification as soon as they're born. There is no such thing as an "accidental racist", and it's not necessary to focus on the victim (LL) and his lack of knowledge because that's a diversionary tactic used by the skillful racist. Just as we don't berate rape victims for wearing the "wrong" clothes or not "knowing better"; pummeling of the victim (LL) seems counterproductive in this instance.
But I could be wrong; I too suffer from racial retardation.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Generational depression is running rampant today. Many people who are often perceived as having a lot of “potential” are experiencing extreme bouts of sadness which they are unable or unwilling to share with others. With so many distractions (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) to preoccupy their time this generation is becoming more disconnected from resources that can help stop their hurting. Are you depressed?
Here are a few signs of depression:
- Find yourself focusing on other people’s lives more than your own.
- Constantly negatively comparing yourself to others and feel like a failure.
- When you see someone accomplishing something you verbally attack them (“He/she thinks they’re better than…”) or spread malicious gossip (“I heard he/she…”) to contribute to conflict.
- Smoke or drink yourself to sleep and/or awake to smoke/drink to get your day started.
- Six-pack turns into a keg or 40 oz (you are abdominally challenged).
- Find yourself consumed with television programs or video games.
If any of these signs sound familiar it is highly likely you are suffering from depression. You should reach out and get help today.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
As we come to another February which is set aside as "Black History Month" each year, I think it's vitally important that we not just look back and reflect on unsung heroes/sheroes of yesteryear. It is equally important that we acknowledge the continuing efforts of those committed to growth and development of Black people right here, right now.
DR. FRANCES CRESS WELSING
Born in Chicago on March 18, 1935, this third generation physician practices general and child psychiatry in Washington, DC specializing in behavioral science rooted in her “Cress Theory of Color Confrontation” which is explored in her must-read book “The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors (1991).”
The brilliant Dr. Welsing shared in the Isis Papers, "Racism (white supremacy) is the local and global power system and dynamic, structured and maintained by persons who classify themselves as white, whether consciously or subconsciously determined; which consists of patterns of perception, logic, symbol formation, thought, speech, action, and emotional response, as conducted, simultaneously in all areas of people activity (economics, education, entertainment, labor, law, politics, religion, sex, and war); for the ultimate purpose of white genetic survival and to prevent white genetic annihilation on planet Earth - a planet upon which the vast and overwhelming majority of people are classified as nonwhite (black, brown, red and yellow) by white skinned people, and all of the nonwhite people are genetically dominant (in terms of skin coloration) compared to the genetic recessive white skin people."
Neely Fuller Jr., Dr. Frances Cress Welsing & Dr. Na'im Akbar (Pictured left to right)
She began her career at Cook County Hospital as an intern (1962-63); then became a resident in general psychiatry at St. Elizabeth Hospital (1963-66); advanced to a fellowship child psychiatry at Children's Hospital (1966-68); and entered private practice in general and child psychiatry in Washington, DC in 1966; served as assistant professor of pediatrics at Howard University College of Medicine (1968-75); clinical director at Hillcrest Children's Center (1975-76); affiliated with Paul Robeson School for Growth and Development, North Community Mental Health Center, Washington, DC, (1976-90).
(((sDOTtv))) now playing Dr. Frances Cress Welsing"Black Mental Health"
Dr. Welsing has appeared in the critically-acclaimed documentaries “500 Years Later (2005)”and “Hidden Colors: The Untold History of People of Aboriginal, Moor, and African Descent (2011)” sharing her insights on the color consciousness impact on the world’s mass oppressive social hierarchy. She has appeared on numerous television and radio shows; been invited as a lecturer on numerous campuses and remains a vibrant advocate for global justice.
WHO WON?Did General Seti rag doll him?(((sDOTtv))) now playing Seti’s Warning to Polight!!!! HD 720
Or did the Young Phenom cause an upset?
(((sDOTtv))) now playing 2 Middleweights Brother Polight vs. Sara Suten Seti
S-Dot was right there in the second row when Sara Suten Seti and Brother Polight went toe-to-toe in their IS THE WHITE MAN THE DEVIL or ARE WE OUR OWN WORST ENEMY debate. He saw, heard and experienced it for himself. Now you can get firsthand knowledge of what really went down.
If you missed it. You don’t want to miss this…
Stay tuned for a play-by-play account on the next THE BLACK LOVE EXPERIENCE with S-Dot on Wednesday, December 12, 2012 @ 8 – 10 pm (EST) call-in 347.308.8527 or click by and join in the live chat discussion.
Missed flights. Bumper-to-bumper traffic. Cell phone chargers left home. Food spilled in vehicles.
This week marks the kickoff of the “holiday” season and there will be countless family members in crisis mode. People who aside from being blood-related have little, to nothing, to do with one another otherwise will come “together” to commemorate and celebrate the “gift” of family.
There will be a lot of fake smiles, air kisses and half-hearted hugs.
You will witness the culinary cook-offs between family members (“who made the potato salad?”), hear rumors (“you know auntie is messing with Mr. So-and-So”), observe travesties (“your cousin is out there with his friends smoking weed again…”) and be pulled into conflicts (“isn’t this turkey dry?”).
Some will give those who accompany them sideway glances and others will have to inebriate themselves in order to restrain their urge to spazz out.
In the interest of minimizing conflict, I would like to share a few helpful tips on Surviving Family Drama.
MEDITATE & PRAY before you leave your house. While en route bring along some soothing music or a motivational CD/MP3 to keep your spirits lifted. Focus on the positives even if you know you are headed into a negative setting.
DON’T SHOW UP EMPTY HANDED. Even if you can’t or don’t cook, bring something. A dessert, bottle of wine (be careful if they’re super-religious) or apple cider, fruit salad, anything besides your Tupperware.
GET THERE EARLY and make it known in advance that you have to “make a few more stops” to enable you to make a quick exit. Leave before those difficult relatives arrive. Remember, most of the drama typically begins when the late-comers arrive and try to play catch up with their accelerated drinking, etc.
REHEARSE YOUR CONVERSATIONS in order to work through the snags that will likely trip you up and lead to saying regrettable things. Avoid politics and religion, if possible. If not, remain neutral in your responses listening to others and appearing to be in deep thought about their remarks. Practice en route with your spouse, significant other or children. Use role playing to prevent and resolve verbal jousts.
ELIMINATE TMI by not over-sharing information which will likely contribute to a hostile environment. It’s not necessary to brag about your promotion, point out how well your children are doing in school or volunteer that you’re making $______.
DEVELOP A SIGNAL ahead of time with those who accompany you, which clearly indicates “it’s time to go” and agree to stick to the escape plan without deviation. Maybe one of you can be the “subject changer” and another can be the “ready to go” person, but make sure your signal isn’t blatantly obvious. When the signal is used, be cordial and get the hell out of there.
FAKE AN EMERGENCY by prearranging a scheduled call. Have this individual call the phone of someone else in the house claiming they “couldn’t get a hold of you” and this way there is even more legitimacy to the urgency of the “emergency” when you hang up and claim to have to go immediately.
DESIGNATE A DRIVER if you’re going to drink. This is a long holiday weekend and getting a DWI and arrested is not a good look. Spending the weekend in a holding cell is so 2008.
REMAIN FOCUSED when others try to pick fights with you say, “I came to have a good time with family, not discuss…” and make certain to smile while saying this.
Remember, you choose your friends, coworkers and neighbors – not your family.
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
It's important to keep your team motivated. This is a great, heartfelt example of how to keep the troops on the field.
Watch and learn. He'll show you how to do this son...
By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files
Congrats to two of my FB fam who I introduced a year ago that got engaged over this past weekend. I am overjoyed for you two.
I’ve watched you both separately for years transition from two people constantly complaining about “what’s wrong with Black Love” to actively doing the work necessary to becoming worthy of being in Black Love. Unlike many who gripe about the state of disunion between Black men and women, you each have rolled up your sleeves, looked in the mirror and said, “I have to change myself,” which is how you got to where you are today.
Sadly, a lot of folks continue to not see what is right in front of their faces. They change jobs, move into different living spaces, go in and out of relationships – but never look in the mirror. They are Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Problems) which prevents them from addressing their own.
I’m glad you each have learned what some never will. I look forward to witnessing your Black Love journey, and I know that awesome things are on the horizon for you.
Y’all need to name your first child after me or something (just kidding…not really – smile).
OPEN MESSAGE TO MY FB FAM…
What are you doing to become the change you desire to see? Are you cultivating an atmosphere of chaos and confusion posting the most negative things about Black people, and passing along gossip, disgusting images without being mindful of who is watching your social interactions? I am. Others are too. What are you putting out there?
It’s time to get out the window worrying about what ______ is doing, and move away from that rearview mirror looking at the regrets of the past. The reason it’s called the “past” is because it has come to pass. The reason it’s called the “present” is because it’s a gift. Don’t lose sight of the reality that today will be tomorrow sooner than you realize…Do the work to be worthy of Black Love.
Hello Brooklyn,
Tonight we make history… Those of us from the most thorough borough who have endured so many years of being counted out knew the one thing to count on is we would stay on that “Brooklyn sh*t.” As we come out tonight to welcome one of our own home at the Barclay Center, let’s S-T-A-N-D U-P and remember all those who did not make here.
Pour out libations to lost, but not forgotten generations.
Bay Ridge, Brownsville, Bed Stuy, Bensonhurst, Brooklyn Heights, Bushwick, Canarsie, Carroll Gardens, Clinton Hill, Cobble Hill, Coney Island, Crown Heights, DUMBO, Dyker Heights, East New York, Flatbush, Fort Greene, Fort Hamilton, Gravesend, Kensington, Marine Park, Midwood, Mill Basin, New Utrecht, Ocean Hill, Park Slope, Prospect Heights, Red Hook, Sheepshead Bay, Sunset Park, Weeksville and Williamsburg…
S-T-A-N-D U-P!!!S-DotOn that Brooklyn sh*t since 1968
By S-Dot for The S-Dot FilesREACH > INSPIRE > TEACH > EQUIP > EMPOWER – these are the cornerstone objectives of my GYMRx (Getting Your Mind Right) ladder of personal growth for collective development.
1) It is important to REACH out beyond your comfort zone to those most in need. 2) It is necessary to INSPIRE others by walking with purpose when sharing your truth. 3) It is essential to TEACH by example to demonstrate what is to be learned by practice. 4) It is vital to EQUIP those responsible for doing the work with the right tools for their tasks. 5) It is liberating to EMPOWER thinkers to become pursuers and doers.
The new song, "B*tch Bad" by Lupe Fiasco is fast-becoming quite a staple in much-needed conversations with the up-next generation about the power of words and images. Using a sonic backdrop that is right-now relevant, a sing-song flow and his usual crisp cadence, Lupe delivers yet another thought-provoking piece. Check out the video and lyrics for yourself and share your thoughts...
(((DotTV))) Lupe Fiasco “B*tch Bad”B*TCH BAD, Lupe Fiasco
[Intro]
Yeah
I say bitch bad, woman good, lady better
Hey, hey, hey, hey
[Verse 1]
Now imagine there’s a shawty, maybe five maybe four
Ridin’ ’round with his mama listening to the radio
And a song comes on and a not far off from being born
Doesn’t know the difference between right and wrong
Now I ain’t trying to make it too complex
But let’s just say shawty has an undeveloped context
About the perception of women these days
His mama sings along and this what she says
“Niggas I’m a bad bitch, and I’m bad bitch
far above average”
And maybe other rhyming words like cabbage and savage
And baby carriage and other things that match it
Couple of things that are happenin’ here
First he’s relatin’ the word “bitch” with his mama, comma
And because she’s relatin’ to herself, his most important source of help,
And mental health, he may skew respect for dishonor
[Hook]
Bitch bad, woman good
Lady better, they misunderstood
(I’m killin’ these bitches)
Uh, tell ‘em
Bitch bad, woman good
Lady better, they misunderstood
They misunderstood
(I’m killin’ these bitches)
[Verse 2]
Yeah, now imagine a group of little girls nine through twelve
On the internet watchin’ videos listenin’ to songs by themselves
It doesn’t really matter if they have parental clearance
They understand the internet better than their parents
Now being the interent, the content’s probably uncensored
They’re young, so they’re maleable and probably unmentored
A complicated combination, maybe with no relevance
Until that intelligence meets their favorite singer’s preference
“Bad bitches, bad bitches, bad bitches
That’s all I want and all I like in life is bad bitches, bad bitches”
Now let’s say that they less concerned with him
And more with the video girl acquiescent to his whims
Ah, the plot thickens
High heels, long hair, fat booty, slim
Reality check, I’m not trippin’
They don’t see a paid actress, just what makes a bad bitch
[Hook]
[Verse 3]
Disclaimer: This rhymer, Lupe’s not usin’ bitch as a lesson
But as a psychological weapon
To set in your mind and really mess with your conceptions
Discretions, reflections, it’s clever misdirection
Cause, while I was rappin’ they was growin’ up fast
Nobody stepped in to ever slow ‘em up, gasp
Sure enough, in this little world
The little boy meets one of those little girls
And he thinks she a bad bitch and she thinks she a bad bitch
He thinks disrespectfully, she thinks of that sexually
She got the wrong idea, he don’t wanna fuck her
He thinks she’s bad at being a bitch like his mother
Momma never dress like that, come out the house, hot mess like that
Ass, titties, dress like that
All out to impress like that
Just like that, you see the fruit of the confusion
He caught in a reality, she caught in an illusion
Bad mean good to her, she really nice and smart
But bad mean bad to him, bitch don’t play your part
But bitch still bad to her if you say it the wrong way
But she think she a bitch, what a double entendre
[Hook]
[Outro]
Bitch bad, woman good
Lady better, they misunderstood
You’re misunderstood
Bitch bad, woman good
Lady better, greatest motherhood
(I’m killin’ these bitches)
“A discipline I have observed is an attitude of love and reverence to people.” – Bessie Amelia Emery Head (7/6-37-4/17-86)
Discipline [dis-uh-plin] is pursuing and doing absent recognition. It is self-determination. Discipline is getting up at the crack of dawn, throwing on a tattered hoodie and well-worn sweats to hit the pavement for that much needed cardio. Not waiting until the gym is filled to run on the treadmill adorned in a high-end sweat suit and over-priced athletic shoes. Discipline is about being focus when all eyes aren’t on you, knowing that at any given moment all eyes might be on you. It is about self-conditioning. Discipline is preparation with the expectation that anything and everything can and/or may happen at any given moment. It is about being ready, able and willing to not just react, but also to be proactive when necessary.
Discipline turns a deferred dream into a preferred destination. It is affirmative answer to a call-to-action away from distraction. Not just talking about problems, but walking with purpose towards a solution. Discipline isn’t hitting the snooze button. It responding to the wake-up call and eventually rising up before the rooster.
Discipline isn’t just about calculated, calibrated regimens; it encompasses adaptability for growth and development. It is being ever-learning and always discerning whatever the circumstances. It is a corrective process of training towards gaining constructive output as the result of productive input.
Discipline is liberation from stagnation and procrastination.
EXERCISE SOME DISCIPLINE
For the next 21 days challenge yourself to become disciplined in your inner monologue (self-talk) and outer dialogue (conversations) with others. Stop referring to yourself as a __________ (n*gg* or b*tch for instance).
This might sound simple, but if you’re accustomed to addressing yourself in this manner, it’s likely others around you do as well. In fact, for the first 24-hours jot down in your journal the amount of times you hear others around you using this term. On the second day, take a moment to reflect on how rampant this phraseology is in your life. Now, I encourage you to become disciplined in the words you speak.
CAUTION: It is highly likely you will NOT be able to do this on the first attempt. In fact, most people have shared it took up to 5 or more attempts to even get through the first 7 days. Do Not Be Discouraged.
