Reclaiming Your Personal Power

It's time to reclaim your personal power today!




By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files

Recently, I began challenging the life-limiting double standards that are in man-to-woman relationships leading to many men surrendering their personal power to women by being manipulated into having sexual relationships. I’ve been a guest and sharer on a number of shows on waiting, dating and mating issues. Here’s an exchange from one this week where the topic was “Is it Difficult to Be Celibate & Should Black Women Date Outside of Their Race?”


S-Dot on Talk About It Today! With Mo Stegall on BlogTalkRadio 10/5/09 show

S-Dot: When I made that decision (to get my mind right), that decision, although I was attending church and so forth, that wasn’t about church. That was about me deciding that I wasn’t going to allow some woman to kill me with a disease. And when I got to that point in my growth, I recognized that a lot of the sex that I was having, I wasn’t having actual intimacy. It was just a lot of sex. And I won’t stand here and act like it was terrible because while I was doing it, it was a good time.

Mo Stegall: You enjoyed every bit of it!

S-Dot: Absolutely! But one of the best things that I know and I recognize where I am right now, is that, when I removed having all the sexual activity with women, I began to gain a lot of clarity in terms of my relationships. So, you know…BBD has the song, “You can’t trust a big butt and a smile that girl is poison”

Mo Stegall: You got that right.

S-Dot: Well, now I’m better able to see those who are poisonous. You know it’s interesting because…you know, I’m far from an unattractive man, and I meet a lot of women, and the women that I meet they immediately want to try to have sex. And when I tell them you know, “I’m not interested in that,” the first thing out of their mouth is, “are you gay?”

Mo Stegall: Right.

S-Dot: And it’s a question of my manhood. However, when a woman makes a decision about going through a period of celibacy, whether it’s until she’s married, or it’s because she’s at a point where she wants to get her mind right – that question isn’t there. But when a man does that, it’s all of a sudden a matter of challenging his manhood. So, why do you think that is?



Check out the rest of the show...( ( ( Hear it Yourself ) ) )

Stay tuned for Episode #10 of The BOOTY Call Show on Blog Talk Radio
On this empowering show inspiring author, motivational speaker and empowerment coach S-Dot will share his intuitive insights and lived-and-learned wisdom from "Exposing the Game" on love + life with singles and couples that are ready to get to the next-level in their relationships by reclaiming their personal power. Grab a pen and pad to take notes it's going to be an informative show of transformational conversation with some surprise guests. Friday, October 9th at 10 p.m. Call-in to share your thoughts from your mobile, home or office phone 347.308.8527

( ( ( Listen Live ) ) )
www.blogtalkradio.com/thesdotfiles




Funeral Arrangements for John "Mr. Magic" Rivas (R.I.P.) will be this Thursday, October 8th at 10 a.m.

Where: St. Barbara’s Roman Catholic Church, 138 Bleeker St (Bet Central & Wilson Ave) - Bushwick, Bklyn

Swag v. Substance

( ( ( Let’s Keep it Real Talk ) ) )

Peops,

Take a look around, there are countless people – young and old – who think just because they have swagger they don't have to graduate to having actual substance.

For example, in recent months we've witnessed the implosion of swaggerific rapper William "Rick Ross" Leonard Roberts II in his outrageous "beef" with hip-hop titan Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson. Rick Ross assumed that just because he hid behind shades and makes head nodding music that would distract audiences from some very serious character challenges; like being a deadbeat dad, repeatedly misleading others about his past and wearing knockoff LV shades claiming they're custom-made only to get blown up by the manufacturer. WTF!



Has swagger replaced substance? Has faking it replaced making it?

These days it seems like "swagger" has become the new "cool." But are people hiding behind faking it to keep from actually making it? On the next show (episode #8) S-Dot & Ms. Indi will be discussing Swagger v. Substance to examine what's really going on or going wrong with today's consciously social community. We'll be sharing some tips on how to stop being lame to actually mastering "the rules" and winning the Game. Join us on Friday, Oct 2 @ 10 p.m. (Eastern) call-in to share your thoughts at 347.308.8527.

HATER ADVISORY - This show is for REAL people, about REAL things, move fakers are strongly cautioned it's going to be REAL talk.

( ( ( Listen Live ) ) )
www.BlogTalkRadio.com/thesdotfiles

( ( ( Call-In ) ) )
To listen from your mobile, home or office phone call 347.308.8527. Just press #1 to raise your hand and become part of the conversation.

Peep Game - New Episode

( ( ( Now Exposing the Game ) ) )


What it do peops?

Had a very lively show this evening on BlogTalkRadio the topic was "Peep Game" and weighing in was my dude filmmaker/music producer Kenny Dynamite Hassell, as well as author, speaker and empowerment coach Hasheem Francis, my joan (homie) Kiran and 2wo (one of the divine 9ine women that taught me the guiding principles of my life). She also overshared my business (lol).

The conversation was pretty interesting. Click by and listen into the archives (episode #6 yourself), also "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong" (episode #5) and "The Ex Factor" (episode #4) are worth checking out as well. Share your thoughts and feedback and thanks for listening.



Author, Speaker, Empowerment Coach

Shaam S-Dot Jones

The S-Dot Files

( ( ( www.blogtalkradio.com/thesdotfiles ) ) )

My co-host Ms. Indi the FemBot just put me onto this DVD a few days ago. It sounds pretty interesting.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Traci Townsend



A life-changing, provocative book, EXPOSING THE GAME introduces the “secret” rules to those that have been played. With man-to-man talk, brotherly advice to women, EXPOSING THE GAME is perfect for couples just getting started or trying to make sense of the mess they’ve made of their relationships.

Get healed and be delivered.

The S-Dot Files is a total wellness empowerment platform powered by social media infotainment featuring advice-driven content that provides practical tips and thought-provoking insights on topic such as; family, faith, relationships, finances and more. With helpful resources for everyday people, like you!

( ( ( POWERED by a MAN of PURPOSE ) ) )

Copyright © 2009, The S-Dot Files

Peep Game

By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files

On tonight's episode (#6) of The BOOTY Call Show we'll be delving into "that thang" you know the one you let hit it...that never call you again? Okay, here's a reminder since you're frontin'.

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Lauryn Hill "Doo Wop"


Remember, now? Thought so. It's going to be a thought-provoking conversation. Yep, even a ex or two will be weighing in. Join me and my co-host Ms. Indi the FemBot tonight at 8 p.m. (Eastern) on The S-Dot Files Radio on BlogTalkRadio call in 347.308.8527 or listen LIVE and chat.

( ( ( Hater Advisory ) ) ) This show is for REAL people doing REAL things. If you’re a move faker and keep it less than 100 this show may not be for you.

Kanye Gets *ssed Out by Obama

By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files



Here's Kanye & Amber Rose backstage, I guess he'll "blame it on Henny..."

Peops,

Of course this week's The BOOTY Call Show will be delving into "When Keeping Real Goes Real Wrong" in response to recent overshares from Rep Joe Wilson (R-S.C.) on 9/9/09 in Congress in which he rebuked the president with "You lie!" and Kanye West on 9/12/09 at the VMAs making himself the awards police.

WARNING: Before you run your mouth...have a Jodeci moment - Don't talk...just listen. You'll save yourself lots of humiliation.

WHAT IS A NARCISSIST?
Take a gander at Kanye West. He epitomizes this disorder in every aspect. The egomaniacal ranting, and self-centeredness at every opportunity to make a public spectacle of himself. He a raging narcissist that’s clearly ready to crash and burn. His winner-hating display against Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs is a clear example of what happens when keeping it real goes too far.

Click by his site: www.KanyeUniversity.com to take a gander.

On his site he arrogantly displays every single cover he’s been on. It’s nothing wrong with being proud of one’s accomplishment, however with Kanye you can discern that he’s thumbing his nose at naysayers rather than relishing his accolades. It is this love/hate relationship with the limelight that has endured him for years to fans who until now gave his antics a pass. That pass has now been revoked.

Terry Moran a correspondent for ABC tweeted that president Obama called Kanye a “jackass” off the record while being interviewed by CNBC. Wow! That’s when you know you’re being put on blast when you’ve got B.O. P.O’d at you.

Here’s a clear indication when you’ve been put on ( ( ( blast ) ) )

Q: Were your girls as hacked off as mine were that Kanye gave Taylor Swift the Joe Wilson treatment?
Obama: I thought that was really inappropriate. You know it was like she's (Taylor Swift) getting an award -- why are you (Kanye West) butting in? I, I hear you -- I agree with you.
Q: So does that count as the first question?
Obama: The young lady seems like a perfectly nice person. She's getting her award. What's he doing up there? He's a jackass. (Laughter) No, now -- this -- all this stuff -- I'm assuming all this stuff. Where's the pool? Come on guys. Cut the president some slack. I got a lot of other stuff on my plate. Yeah. Cause I remember last time it was the fly thing. Now that was the highlight of (trails off)

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Obama calls Kanye a Jackass



DEFINITIVELY SPEAKING – there’s a new term added to the hip-hop lexicon for playing ones self, “You totally Kanye’d that.”

Kanye – to make buffoonish, unsolicited comments while intoxicated with narcissism in total disregard of others because you’re an attention-whore desiring all praise all the time.

TWEETOLOGY (APOLOGY VIA TWITTER)


There's hope for Kanye. Let's all be REAL we've played ourselves too! Let's keep it REAL talk.


Join my co-host Indi the FemBot and I on the next episode of The BOOTY Call Show as we keep it REAL talk with advice and tips for getting rid of your haters. Click by to connect + reflect www.BlogTalkRadio.com/thesdotfiles where you can chat LIVE or call-in from your home, work or mobile phone 347.308.8527 to listen and join in the conversation. Check out the archives.

( ( ( Hater Advisory ) ) ) This show is for REAL people doing REAL things. If you’re a move faker and keep it less than 100 this show may not be for you.

The Vapors

Peops,

Click by and join me and my special guests on The BOOTY Call Show for a lively discussion on "The Vapors" on this week's show on BlogTalkRadio.

Got Played? On this episode inspiring author, motivational speaker, empowerment coach S-Dot will be joined by special guests to discuss “the Vapors” that moment when you get some get back on somebody that tried to play you. Join us Friday, Sept 4 @ 10 p.m. – 12:00 a.m. as we connect + reflect with REAL talk from REAL people about how-to handle it when you’ve been played and finally get an opportunity to have your “hi-haters!” moment.

Call in and join the conversation: 347.308.308-8527 or click by and chat LIVE!


( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing Biz Markie "The Vapors" (Live)

Tips on Dating & Mating

For this blog, I'd like to share some personal insights and observations that I've included in singles and couples seminars. I've recently come across a book that outlined many of the things that I've been sharing with people for years and I was pleasantly surprised by the author's similarity in thinking.

5 Steps of Dating & Mating
1. Being friends – hangout in the neighborhood with the types you want in your life
2. Dating non-committed – take stock of the landscape without limiting your opinions
3. Dating exclusively – lay the foundation, but don’t behave as if you’re married
4. Engagement – discuss your building plans for a life together
5. Marriage – add the additional rooms; learn to love and grow

Write Your 3 Lists
1. Must-haves (Chill)
2. Compromises (Hmm…)
3. Hell Naws (Run!)

Whatever is on your heart or mind should be on these lists. It’s not shallow to have a preference, so stand on your truth. Be honest about what it is you desire, and remember these lists are about you gaining clarity. They’ll be very helpful towards you vision casting for the life you want. Don’t be stingy, be specific.

Be honest about your dating others, but sparing of the details during those dates. Use discretion, and do not intentionally overshare inflicting hurtfulness onto others.

If you don’t feel comfortable enough to admit to the life you’re living aside from your dating that person, you should reconsider why you’re dating them. Anyone that tries to accelerate the process passive-aggressively or otherwise should be addressed and removed if necessary. If they don’t know how to be your friend, don’t let them pretend they’re you’re partner.

Remember, you’re ideal partner is someone that’s ready, willing and available to be your friend. Don’t allow people to cage you into corners and use a smoother method to bewitch you into continuing with your life while you’re still getting to know one another. Do not place yourselves in compromising situations which will cloud your ability to objectively discern this individual’s truth absent of physicality and inappropriate emotional bonding.

This week on The S-Dot Files Radio we'll be discussing love + life issues delving into the how-tos for deciding when its time to take your relationship to the next level. Join us for a lively discussion Thursdays @ 11 p.m. (eastern) on BlogTalkRadio click by www.blogtalkradio.com/thesdotfiles and call-in to share 347.308.8527 on The BOOTY Call Show.

This blog content was inspired in part by The Five Phases of Dating, by Anita Charlot