Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Before I Let You Go

By S-Dot for The S-Dot Files

( ( ( sDOTtv ) ) ) now playing BlackStreet “Happy Home”

17 Happy Home.wma - BlackStreet

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CAUTION: This book will cause cheaters to panic and sleepers to wake up!

Just because you have it going on sexually, doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt emotionally. In fact, when I tied my self-worth to my sexual identity is when I was wounded the most severe.

I once dated this med student (“B”) that was unquestionably wife-material, but I still wasn’t husband-ready. We both knew and discussed that upfront. She saw “something special” in me and wanted to just “chill” until I opened my eyes. Of course being a player, I had no problem “running the clock,” which is what players do when they waste someone’s time with no intention of allowing them to actually score a commitment (win).

Anyway, we had romantic dinners. There were many nights when we simply just watched videos or listened to old school CDs singing along being silly sipping white zifandel. I spent intimate evenings reading to her when it rained, which calmed her down because she hated the thunder and would cry when she saw lightning. We shopped together and did one another’s weekly laundry. Went to family functions together. Eventually, we visited one another’s relatives, even in the hospital.

My family elders counseled, “Boy, don’t you screw this up.”

I was diggin’ her and totally intimidated by the feelings she inspired in me. I felt myself getting dizzy and starting to swoon when we kissed at times. Everyone that knows me knows I’m not a kisser. So, that was yet another barrier that I broke down with her.

We did all the things couples do, but I always reminded her after she’d look at me with those beautiful doe-eyes, “You know we’re just kickin’ it right?” And she’d say, “Don’t worry Mr. Man, I know you don’t want to settle down. At least not with me. I understand.” Then she’d give herself to me physically with such intensity that I came to recognize this cat-and-mouse scenario was mutually arousing for both of us.

That thang had us jonesin’ hard.

I even thought about giving her the elusive “key” one day. But then I woke up and realized I was having a nightmare.

One night coming from a party, we were drag racing this Puerto Rican couple in a Mustang on the FDR blasting Blackstreet’s “Baby Be Mine” from their debut album, and I serenaded her doing 90 mph. It was so erotic, we pulled over after we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge, and found a spot where we tore it down right there on the side of the road. At 3 a.m. in the morning. It was scorching hot! Our relationship had an unquenchable passion to it.

Until this day, I can’t hear the songs, “U Blow My Mind” “Physical Thing” and “Make U Wet” and not smile.

( ( ( Peep Game ) ) )
Keys to the Kingdom is a tactic that widows use…a guy may buy his nagging girlfriend a ring to make her “wifey” but she’ll suffocate holding her breath waiting for them to actually get married. Sure, he’ll give you the keys to the…but there’ll be no driving. You’re going for that fool’s gold.

From the forthcoming book, Exposing the Game: Learning How-to Stop Playing Yourself (RTK Communications)

Message The S-Dot Files your e-mail address to receive a FREE copy of the eBook, Exposing the Game.

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